12-06-00 Eastern Echo

The last gasp

This is my final column. How do I say goodbye? For the past three years I've spilled my guts on the pages of the Eastern Echo. I've written about my kids, about my life, I've bashed the university, I've praised the university, I've tickled your funny bone (haven't I?), I've waxed philosophical, I've taken stands on issues I thought were important and I even shared my story about peeing in my pants at a haunted house. I've already thanked a truckload of people in last week's love-fest column. What's left? (Plenty.) From here I move on to the next chapter in my life. This brief stopover at Eastern has been a meaningful experience for me, and the many valuable lessons I learned will be welcome baggage that I carry away with me. But I hope that I have left something of myself behind, because that is what has motivated me to continue my writing. I hope that people have read something I wrote and come away with a new perspective. We all want to leave our "mark" on the world as we stumble our way through life. Our mark may not be something as indelible as the famed "Kilroy was here" (perhaps only older generations will understand that reference), but for a moment I like to think that "Haffey was here" will remain, for a short time, on the consciousness of this university. Over the years I've received numerous letters in response to my columns, and I have treasured them. When I struggled with the issue of how to raise my children with a spiritual center after I had fallen away from the Catholic church, I was overwhelmed with letters from readers who shared their own stories of faith and doubt with me. Others merely said they would pray for me, so that I might find my own truth. I was invited to at least three congregations by people who thought they might have found what I was searching for. When I started a series of feature stories about people doing positive things at the university (Great People at EMU series) I was inundated with nominations from readers. Many said they were excited by the prospect of paying homage to some great people who had made a difference in their lives, and the email responses I received about those feature articles were all very complimentary. When I wrote a column about S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) from which I suffer, several people wrote to tell me of their own experiences with the often-misdiagnosed disorder. One woman asked me for the name of my doctor who had treated me with homeopathic remedies, in the hope that she might find some relief from this seasonal depression. Her current doctor refused to consider prescribing anything but mind-numbing anti-depressants. She wrote me a short time later, saying she had an appointment with my doctor. Her parting words were, "I believe God has blessed me through your article." But really, I believe it is me who has been blessed through this wonderful opportunity to speak to the community of Eastern Michigan University on a weekly basis. I can point to this experience of writing a weekly column and say with great confidence it has been the most rewarding aspect of my college career. I have been granted this public forum to share my life and thoughts with the readers of the Eastern Echo, and for that I am grateful. I have all the letters from readers in a special file on my computer. Long after the university community has forgotten me I will remember the kind words of the people who took the time to offer me praise, or feedback, or those who took the time to merely commiserate with my predicament. I will also remember the consternation I felt the first time someone wrote me an angry letter. I will remember the first time someone recognized me as a columnist in the halls of Pray-Harrold. I will remember writing the columns I loved, and the columns I thought were terrible. I will remember the warm embrace of this community and the wonderful hours I spent gathering knowledge at the feet of some truly amazing people. It is with great regret that I say "goodbye."