10-06-99 Eastern Echo

Mad as hell, for what?

"I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more!" Do you remember this mantra shouted by the character Howard Beale from the movie "Network," circa 1976? In the film it was echoed by millions of people in the streets, not in an attempt to regain some control over their uncontrollable existence, but to bellow dissatisfaction over their powerlessness. I remember. Anyone who has seen this movie must recall the power that reverberated in this simple statement of discontent. It goes to the heart of everything that is wrong with our existence in this world, where we feel powerless, trodden upon, by circumstances which threaten to overwhelm the tiny particle called "hope" we have learned to squelch in our everyday lives. Getting mad, looking stupid. I am mad as hell. But I hide it, for fear that my discontent will mark me as one who cannot live amongst "normal" society. A discontent that may mark me as one who needs to stand upon a soap-box and shout empty platitudes to the disinterested hordes. Haven't we all felt powerless at some point in our lives? Haven't we all fantasized about being that "little person" who makes a "big difference" in the world? What good, you might ask yourself, can I do? My life is too small, too insignificant to manufacture the impetus that is needed to make a meaningful change in the world. I am but one person, helpless. As I write this I feel despondent. It would be easy to say, "Get mad. Take a stance. Make a difference." But they are just words, imperfect representations of a concept that bewilders my mind; active participation. It's easy to write it down, far harder to follow through. The things that really make me mad I know that I have no control over. The plight of women in less developed societies, the neglect and abuse of children at the hands of those who supposedly love them, the lack of support for inner-city families, rich people who get richer while the poor scramble for their "trickle-down." What can I do? Nothing. Nothing but get mad, fume a little, and get on with my insignificant little life. I live with the knowledge that I am destined to sit in front of my television each night watching the daily news, bemoaning the state of hopelessness that has smothered me in it's comfortable embrace. It's easy to sit and be unsatisfied. It's easy to mock the people who, in their ignorance, believe that somehow they can make a change. It's so easy to do nothing. Except that while it's easy to do nothing, it still pains me to do nothing. And there, again, I find myself mad as hell. Mad enough to stick my head out of the window and yell, "I'm as mad as hell, but I think I'll just have tuna fish for lunch today!" Pathetic, isn't it? But don't most of us live that way? We see something that needs changing and yet it somehow escapes us that we might possibly be able to do something about it. I want to blame society. It has fostered this desire in me to shut up and go along with the crowd. Society has made an example out of those hapless fools who stand at the forefront of a cause, and the lesson I've learned is that it's none of my business. Better to turn my eyes away, since my hands have no business messing with something that I can't truly understand, the ignorant nobody that I am. (I'm mad again. I'm not ignorant. I'm somebody. But I'm still having tuna for lunch.) My voice is too small. My concerns are too trivial. My life is too comfortable to put myself forward in a cause that will likely fail. I am an observer, not a doer. When the time is right I will step forward. When an issue is important enough I will speak up. I don't have the time. I'm afraid of the repercussions. It doesn't affect me. I'm just ONE person. I like tuna fish. (My apologies to the dolphins.) If I can, then so should you. Beale was right. We need to take a stand. We need to stop accepting circumstances as "inevitable" and start asking ourselves if we can somehow change what is so deplorable to us. And if we can only manage to open a window and think about shouting, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more!" well then, we have made some progress. Tomorrow I'll forgo the tuna unless the can is labeled "no dolphins were killed while trying to catch this fish." It may seem like a small step, but it could be a meaningful beginning.