03-27-00 Eastern Echo

Pray-Harrold poison: smoke equals choke

Cough, cough. Hack, hack. Can you guess where I am? Okay, here's another hint. The back of my throat is raw and my eyes are bloodshot and itching. Bingo! If you have had classes in our recently charred Pray-Harrold building of toxic death, you too, have likely experienced some of the above mentioned symptoms. But you know the university has had Clean Air Management, Inc., an independent environmental testing and consulting service, over there to check the air quality of the building, and the "air levels in occupied areas were found to be well below detection limits." The levels were also "well below the occupational exposure standards established by the Michigan Occupational Safety and Health Administration (MIOSHA)." Oh, that's very impressive. Then why am I still eating the raw meat of my throat every time I swallow? Why are my eyes still itching so bad I want to tear them out with my fingernails? We shouldn't complain. Most of us don't have classes above the 5th floor, where the smell of burnt plastic and insulation practically grabs you by the throat and wrestles you to the ground. It's the professors and staff working in the department offices that should be shouting bloody murder. (But their throats are raw; so I imagine they'd just squeak their displeasure regarding the air quality up there.) But hey, it's safe in here. The President, and Public Information, said so. I'm having a little daydream right now. In this daydream I'm placing the President and those people from Public Information in an 8 by 10 room on the 6th floor of Pray-Harrold. I imagine them running from the building after a measly 15 minutes, clutching their throats and rubbing their reddened eyes, while all of the people who have had to endure the frightfully bad air quality conditions since last week circle them and scream "sissies!" and "pantywaists!" That'd teach 'em. You see, there are very few "administrative" offices in Pray-Harrold. (I think only Dean Fish's office and perhaps a couple of people in University Computing.) If more administrators were forced to work with the acrid smell burning their noses and eyes, then surely they would have reconsidered their notion of "safe" and "acceptable." On Thursday, as I hacked and coughed my way through three classes in Pray-Harrold, I noticed something remarkable, something spectacular, something they said could never happen in this brick and glass monstrosity. They OPENED SOME WINDOWS. I have heard rumors in the three years I've attended this university that the windows were sealed when one student threatened to jump from a 4th floor classroom. Another rumor said they (the mysterious "they") were worried that if all the people opened windows in the building, it might actually start turning like a pinwheel and spin itself all the way to Depot Town. So, regardless of "why" the windows have been sealed for as long as most people can remember, it comes to light that we've been lied to. We've been told repeatedly that they (again, mysterious "they") cannot open the windows, it was absolutely impossible. Lies. And if they lied about the windows, why shouldn't they stretch the truth about the safety of the air in Pray-Harrold? Our department of Public Information assures us we will only experience mild to moderate discomfort from the toxic fumes in Pray-Harrold classrooms. What they call "safe" were conditions that might cause modest respiratory distress among those prone to allergies and bouts of asthma. (Which is approximately half of the world's population.) Just about everyone I spoke with on Thursday was experiencing some significant discomfort. I'm sure the university was only looking out for our best interests. Because if they had canceled classes for an entire week then certainly some of us would have sued them for services bought but not rendered. Ooooh, lawsuits bad. Avoid lawsuits. Put the students and faculty in barely breathable conditions, that is sooo much better for the university. Risk our health instead of erring on the side of caution. Makes perfect sense to me. Today is Monday, and I'm sure by now the building is mostly aired out. The worst is over and we can go back to worrying about other problems at Pray-Harrold. For example-the lecture halls on the ground floor that are unbearably too warm or too cold, depending on the whim of the secretive "boiler demon" who lives somewhere in the bowels our largest classroom building on campus. But hopefully we'll never have to deal with the "sick-building" syndrome again, now that the windows can actually OPEN and we can get some fresh air into the classrooms and offices when they become intolerably "seasoned" and dusty smelling. Unless, of course, "they" decide to reseal all the windows. Makes perfect sense to me. �