She Knows Now

 

She realizes just how big a mistake she made in asking him to come along. Competing against Marissa had been a cake walk, competing against Seth was impossible. Ryan had spent almost two hours locked in their room after the Cohen's had called to say that Seth had set sail for Tahiti.

For weeks now he's been walking around in a daze, calling Sandy everyday to see if there has been any word about Seth only to come away with slumped shoulders and haunted eyes.

They share a bed, but Ryan is never really in it with her. His body is there, beside hers, but his soul and his heart are out across miles of ocean trying desperately to connect with someone else's.

She wonders how she could have been so blind. How she could have completely missed all the signs that seem so clear now. She pretends to sleep when Ryan jerks awake with Seth's name on his lips. She pretends not to hear when Seth's name drifts from the shower on a moan.

The weeks turn into months until one day Ryan comes away from the phone with a bittersweet smile and something like relief clouding his eyes. Seth is home and safe and Theresa knows with everything she is, that Ryan isn't long for Chino. Not because he'll leave her, but because she'll make him go. Go home. Home, to where his soul resides. Home to love.

 

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