Three sets of anxious eyes focus on me as we exit the bedroom and
go down the stairs.
"Well?"
Buffy is the first to speak and before I can answer her,
"Oh Buffy, you should have seen it. It was so beautiful. Spike was all Mr. thoughtful and romantic and
Xander, God, Xander wanted him so much, I've never seen him like that. And then at the end there was this huge white
light that surrounded the whole bed."
I see Buffy relax at Willows words. The exhaustion starts to set in and Giles,
Buffy and
"So it worked then?"
Wesley's voice breaks the silence.
I can see the concern for me in his eyes.
"Yes, everything is fine."
"Just as long as bleach boy knows that if he hurts Xander he
has to answer to me. Well, I'm outta
here. I'm meeting Fred and Gunn at the
new Thai restaurant. See you
tomorrow."
Once she's gone Wesley is by my side in an instant, his hand lying
on my arm, the heat of his body comforting me.
"How are you?"
Turning to him I gather him in my arms and rest my forehead on his
shoulder. For an instant he stills
before his arms encircle me. His hands
trail along my back in long soothing strokes.
I let my lips nuzzle his neck.
I feel a tremor run through his body.
Thinking its fear, I start to pull away.
His hand clasps the back of my head pressing me harder against him. My tongue comes out to lick along the vein of
his jugular and his hips thrust involuntarily against me. The hungry moan that escapes me causes an
answering sound from Wes.
I walk us to the settee in the middle of the room. Sitting I pull him onto my lap, legs
straddling my hips. His hips grind
against mine as our erections touch through our clothes. So hot, he's so hot against me. I feel myself warming from the inside
out. Pulling his shirt from the
waistband of his jeans I begin opening the buttons.
I lick my way across his collarbone down the middle of his
chest. Sliding my hands up his back I cup
his shoulders and pull down bowing his body before me.
The hard tip of my tongue finds one of his nipples. Tracing the round nub wetly
I can't stop my hips from thrusting up to meet his as he slides
against me. As my teeth close tightly
around his nipple his hands grab my head and he holds me tight against him as I
suck like a nursing child.
I can feel how hard he is against me and I can't stop one of my
hands from plunging down his pants and taking him in my hand. I circle him letting my thumb brush back and
forth across the weeping head of his cock.
He's thrusting into my hand, his whole body writhing as I place sucking
kisses across his torso and neck.
Panting and gasping my name, his hips rise and fall in an erratic rhythm
that sends hot burning need through me.
Suddenly I hear a gasp that doesn't belong to Wes. Without thinking I shift into game face and
growl at the intrusion. Within seconds
my brain registers that it's Buffy. Wes
has gone completely still while burying his head in my neck. My face shifts back and with a soft kiss to
the forehead I set him beside me.
"Stay here." When
he doesn't meet my eyes I place a finger beneath his chin and bring his head
up. "Please."
He nods and I head off in the direction Buffy went. Damn I just don't need this right now. Especially when I've got a hard on that I
can't seem to get rid of.
I find her in the garden, pacing back and forth.
"Buffy..."
"I don't want to hear it.
I mean, God, is everyone I know gay.
Was there a memo that I missed?"
I'm speechless at her words.
She's upset because she's surrounded by same sex relationships.
"I didn't mean for you to find out like this. I'm sorry."
"Are you...does he make you happy?"
Her voice is soft and I can hear the emotion she's holding back
from me.
I simply nod.
"How...I mean, I thought that..."
"I learned a few years ago how to live with the demon and the
soul. Neither one trying to push the
other out. With you I tried to be a man
again, not what I really am. I forgot
what I really was. The Angelus that came
back those years ago wasn't the same one that I really am. The isolation and desperation of years
without a voice drove him insane. I
haven't forgotten since, nor will I now."
She nods her head and turns to leave. I don't try to stop her. She needs time to adjust and I need Wesley.
I enter the lobby just as Wes reaches the door. I come up behind him and wrap my arms around
his waist.
"Where are you going?"
"I-I just thought that I should go."
"No. I want you
here. I want you with me, I need you
with me."
I feel the tension leave his body as he leans back against
me. His head falls
to my shoulder and I can't suppress the shudder that runs the
length of my body at the look of pure unadulterated need in his eyes.
"Damn Wes, when you look at me like that it drives me
insane."
His arms come up to circle around my neck and pull my head over
his shoulder for a deep kiss. My hips
involuntarily thrust against his ass.
God I love his mouth. I pull my
lips from his to run my tongue along his neck.
I take his hand and lead him toward the stairs. I've waited long enough for him; I'm not
waiting any longer. As soon as the
bedroom door shuts I have him pinned against it. My mouth takes his in a hard kiss. I pull his tongue into my mouth and suck
greedily at his taste. The moans coming
from the back of his throat shoot straight to my cock and I crush his body
against mine locking our hips in a frantic rhythm.
I trail my lips across his cheek and down his neck. Reaching for his shirt I notice my hands
shaking. I'm overwhelmed with how much I
want him. I can't seem to make my
fingers work the buttons through the holes and with a growl I grab the collar
and rip straight down. Wes's eye snap
open at the sound of buttons hitting the floor.
I attempt to look sheepish when in reality the mantra running
through my mind is
'fuck him, fuck him now'.
How's that for eloquent. When
his eyes meet mine I suddenly don't care about sheepish. His pupils are almost fully dilated and his
chest is rising and falling in quick secession with gasping breaths. Keeping eye contact I lower myself to my
knees in front of him. I watch in fascination
and hunger as his breath catches on a deep moan and his eyes roll back.
Lowering my head I trace the outline of his cock through his pants
with my tongue. Pushing the button
through the hole and pulling down the zipper I push his pants and boxers down
around his ankles. With the flat of my
tongue I wipe the pre-come from the tip.
Pulling back slightly I look up at Wes.
Briefly I wish for pencil and paper.
I'd draw him exactly as he is now.
His neck and back are arched away from the door, eyes closed, panting
breaths escaping his open mouth.
In one swift move I swallow him to the root. The feel of hot, wet throbbing flesh filling
my mouth makes me moan around him.
"Oh God, Angel."
The desperate sound of his voice sends bolts of fire through my
body. The taste of him trips across my
tongue as I greedily lick the drops of pre-come pouring from him.
I release him from my mouth and reach down to take off his shoes
and socks.
After helping him step out of his pants I lie him down in the
middle of the bed. Quickly stripping off
my clothes I lie down next to him.
Taking his bottom lip in my mouth I let my hands glide across his chest
and stomach.
"So beautiful, Wes."
I wanted to go slow, show him the reverence he deserves but my body
is overriding my mind. I reach across
him to the top drawer and pull out a small bottle of oil. He starts to turn over and I stop him with a
hand on his shoulder.
"No. I want to see,
watch you."
I watch him smile as desire flares in his eyes.
I open the bottle of oil and coat my fingers with a generous
amount. He bends his legs and places his
feet flat on the bed canting his hips up towards me.
His eagerness humbles me. I
gently circle the ring of tight pink muscles before letting a finger slip
inside. As I add a second finger I curl
them up into his prostate, rubbing against it roughly. His hips thrust against my hand looking for
more contact. Adding a third finger I
watch his body shake with need and bow almost in half.
"Angel....now...please...now."
I pull my fingers free of his body and pour more oil into my hand
to prepare myself. His dilated eyes
follow my every move. It's still hard
for me to believe that the lust and need shining so brightly in his eyes is for
me. I silently thank Will for making me
see what I was denying.
I position myself between his legs and settle his calves on my
shoulders. Pushing in, in a single
thrust I almost choke at the hot, tightness of his body.
I'm never going to be able to last. I set up a slow steady rhythm. Wesley slides his legs down and around my
waist to pull me tighter against him. He
tries to pull me into a faster rhythm, but I can't let him. I want this to be good for him.
"I'm not glass, Angel.
I won't break. I need...oh
God...I need more. Please, Angel,
please."
"Wes, I-I can't...I'm too close. JESUS, Wes, don't squeeze."
He won't relent and I'm terrified I'll hurt him. I feel him contract around me again forcing
me into a faster, harder pace. I place
one hand on the wall above his head and grasp his cock with the other. My hips have suddenly acquired a mind of
their own and I can't stop the furious thrust of my body into his.
"Yes, God yes.
Angel."
The sound of his heated voice takes the last coherent thoughts
from me and I push myself harder and faster, praying I'm not hurting him. Suddenly his body goes rigid and he arches
almost completely off the bed. As he
screams my name I feel him explode across my hand. His hands grab my head and shove it roughly
against the junction of his neck and shoulder.
"Please."
And God help us both but I can't stop my fangs from dropping and
sliding into his neck. With a final
thrust into his body I spill myself inside him howling around his neck. Retracting my teeth and shifting my face back
to human, I lap the slowing flow of blood from the twin puncture wounds in his
neck. I slide to my side and pull him to me.
"Wes, that was a stupid move."
"Perhaps, but it felt good."
I feel his body start to relax into the first stages of
sleep. For the first time in years I
feel contentment creeping over me. I
don't fear for my soul. I don't need to. I haven't forgotten what I am and I feel no
need to try and do so. Wes accepts me
for who and what I am. I let myself fall into sleep looking forward to the days
ahead for the first time in more years than I can count.