Living Arrangements
Somehow
I ended up sandwiched between Xander and Dawn on the couch when we settled down
to watch movies. I know they told me the
name of this movie but I don't think I've seen more than ten minutes of
it.
All
I can think about is Xander's thigh pressed tight against mine. The heat coming off his body in waves has
warmed the entire right side of my body and I'm swimming in a cloud of need so
thick I'm afraid to move. I'm afraid if
I move I'll drag him to the bedroom, tie him down, strip him naked and taste
every inch of that hot human warmth.
He
reaches across me for the popcorn that Dawn has and my whole body tenses. The smell of him fills my head and it's all I
can do to stop the moan building in my chest.
I can't take it. In an instant
I'm off the couch and storming into the kitchen.
"What's
up with him?"
I
hear Buffy's voice from the living room and I want to scream 'my dick, that's
what.'
I
grab the edge of the counter and bite the inside of my lip to calm myself. I feel a soft hand on my shoulder and I know
its
"Spike,
are you okay?"
I
want to tell her. I want to open my
mouth and pour out my heart. I'm in love
with her best friend and I want him so much it's killing me. I turn my head to face her and tell her I'm
fine but she sees it.
Her
eyes widen and I see a small smile play around the corners of her mouth. I see the understanding and acceptance in her
eyes and before I can stop it, it all comes rushing out.
"I
want him so much, Red. He's all I think
about, all I bloody dream about."
"You
have to tell him."
"Are
you daft? I can't tell him. He doesn't want me and I can't live without
him. I'd lose him if I told him. It just gets to be too much sometimes. Being around him all the time, knowing he's
right there, close enough to touch. Tell
me how to make it stop."
"I
wish I could, but it doesn't stop. How
do you know he doesn't want you?"
I
can't help the snort that escapes me.
"Have
you ever seen him show interest in anything that doesn't have breasts?"
She
wants to say yes but she can't. She
opens her mouth when Xander enters the room.
I feel my body tense again. I
look to
"You
okay. Your shoulder bothering you
again?"
I
see the concern in his eyes and I close my eyes against it. I want to see so much more there. I feel his hands on my shoulder and I realize
he must have taken my silence for a yes.
I
bite my lip hard to keep from moaning.
He's standing close enough that I can feel his warm breath on my neck
when he speaks.
"Tell
me where, I might be able to help, my hands are stronger than Willows."
I
know I shouldn't answer him. I know what
my voice will sound like if I do, but I want his hands on me.
"Lower."
"Here?"
His
voice is soft and rough and just for a second I let myself believe it's because
I affect him the same way he affects me.
I nod my head and I feel his fingers dig into my flesh in hard sweeping
circles. I can't stop the moan or the
words.
"God,
Xander, don't stop, feels good."
His
hands pause for a brief second and I realize I've blown it all to hell. I feel his hands start to move again and
that's when the pheromones hit me. The smell of his arousal washes over me and
I turn suddenly, my eyes meeting his. I
stare in fascination at the glazed look of desire in his eyes.
His
hands drop to his sides and he swallows convulsively.
I
watch the blush crawl up his neck to warm his checks. He realizes that I've smelled it. That I know he wants me and he thinks I don't
want him in return. He thinks he's about
to be rejected. He couldn't be farther
from the truth. I open my mouth to tell
him but suddenly Dawn appears in the doorway.
"Xander?"
His
head snaps toward the sound of her voice, a nervous laugh spilling out of him.
"Yeah."
His
voice is strained and I let the sound roll around in my head and I can't stop
the smile. He's dazed and hot and needy
and it's because he wants me.
"Buffy
and Anya want another soda."
"Okay."
With
automatic movements I watch him grab two cans out of the refrigerator and
follow Dawn out the door.
"I'm
sorry, I tried to get them to wait."
I
grin at her and shake my head.
"'S'not
a problem."
"Did
you...did he...did you two."
"No,
but I don't think I'm alone in this."
Her
hands clasp together in front of her and I can tell she wants to squeal.
I
nod my head toward the door and we exit.
I was never the planner. Angelus,
he was he planner, but suddenly I find myself in possession of a bloody
brilliant plan. Seduce Xander Harris.