Living Arrangements

 

"It's weird, you know.  All these years and the world really hasn't changed that much."

 

I watch him as he settles back against Willow’s headstone.  Only fifteen minutes left until sunrise.  Fifteen minutes until I say good-bye to my son-in-law, my last link to William.  These last few weeks have been exceptionally difficult and it's a wonder Xander has lasted the last two years without Spike. 

 

Pain ripples through me as I think of my Childe's untimely demise.  Fighting the good fight until the end, protecting his mate, with his very life when it came down to it.  Xander fell into depression and for six months refused to leave the room they had shared for over six hundred and seventy years.  

 

"I saw you, yesterday in the garden.  It's still so strange to see you in the sunlight.  Totally weirded me out, just like the first time.  But you looked happy and that's good.  I wish Spike…Angel, I'm sorry I'm leaving you, I just...I just can't..."

 

"It's okay, Xander, I know."

 

I see his relief that I don't ask him to stay.  He's ready to go.

 

"So, tell me about this place again."

 

He crosses his legs and I'm reminded again of the kid I first met in Sunnydale.  I can't help but smile at him as he waits for me to speak.

 

"It's a demon dimension.  But not Hell.  Not all demons were sent here for nefarious purposes.  Many were warriors for the good and although they'll never make it to heaven, there's a place that accepts them and rewards them for their goodness.  No pain, no heartache, just a bunch of people who had the same purpose.  Once you...once you leave this plane, your physical body will take form again in Plytak."

 

"The hurt, it'll...it'll go away.  I won't feel this anymore?"

 

"No, you won't feel it anymore.  All you'll feel is the joy Spike brought to you.  It's quite a bit like euphoria."

 

"He won't be there though, will he?  Too many years of death and violence.  I'll really never see him again will I?"

 

"No, Xander I'm afraid you won't."

 

He looks behind him and traces Willow's name with his fingers.  I know Xander had hoped he'd get into heaven, but it just isn't so.  No matter that he was never evil, if you die a demon you just don't get into heaven and that's the way of it.

 

"Will you tell them...tell them that I love them, when you see them, tell them, okay."

 

"I will."

 

I finally got my redemption.  I'm human and I'll live out my human life, still fighting the good fight.  When I die I'll be graced with acceptance in heaven.

 

"Whistler's waiting for you, right?  You won't be alone tonight?"

 

"Yes, he's at the hotel.  Xander, thank you for loving him, for coming back for him."

 

"I didn't have a choice.  I told him once he was my everything and I meant it.  Angel, is it going to hurt?"

 

"For a few seconds and then you'll be there and nothing will ever hurt again."

 

I watch the sun creep over the horizon and spread through the trees.  I watch Xander twitch as his skin starts to itch.

 

"Angel."

 

"Yes."

 

"Thank you for turning Spike."

 

I don't try to stop the tears that run down my face.  I've come to love Xander over the years and I'm sad to see him go but I'm glad he'll finally be free of his pain.

 

"I'm just gonna lay down and close my eyes.  Will you...will you hold my hand for a few minutes, just until..."

 

I move beside him and grasp his hand in mine.  Gently I rub his knuckles with my thumb.  I watch with sadness as the rays of the sun come steadily closer until his pant leg bursts into flame.  It takes everything in me not to drag him under the nearest tree and shelter him with my body.

 

The fire quickly spreads up his body.  With one last look at his face, I see him smiling, even through the pain, as he clutches tightly to the medallion hanging around his neck. 

 

At the last second I pull my hand back.  The fire extinguishes as quickly as it started and nothing is left of Xander but scattered ashes.  Placing my head on the ground where his body once was, I let out my heartache.  I let the tears fall for my Childe and his mate, both of whom I loved with all my heart.

 

Slowly making my way from the cemetery I go back to my car and start the drive to Los Angeles alone.

 

Hours later Whistler stands outside the building as I pull up. 

 

"Everything okay?"

 

I heave a sigh and force back the tears.

 

"Fine.  I just hope Xander will be alright."

 

"I think he's going to be fine.  Right about now a foul mouthed, leather clad, bleach blonde is being hurtled through dimensions on his way to a crash landing in Plytak."

 

I see his smile and I can't help but return it.

 

"How?"

 

"Hey, The Powers make the rules, I just enforce 'em."

 

My sorrow is replaced with happiness.  Xander will get his wish.  Forever.

 

Whistler takes my arm as I go to enter the building.

 

"One more thing."

 

He pulls me around to the back and we stand at the door in the garden staring into the lobby.  My knees go weak as I watch Wesley flit around the office.  Wesley has been dead for more years than I can count.  I turn to Whistler with a stunned smile on my face.

 

"Your redemption was becoming human, your reward is Wesley.  He doesn't know he's been dead for almost seven hundred years.  His memory has been filled with those lost years and everything that has happened in them, but he doesn't know he wasn't right there with you the entire way.  You're souls are linked.  When you die, so will he.  Whether it's old age or a bus, doesn't matter.  Welcome to the rest of your life."

 

With that, he's gone.  Damn, how does he do that?  I pace the garden in excited anticipation.  Inside those doors is my salvation.  The one thing I needed to go on.  Looking toward the sky I mouth the words 'Thank you.'

 

Wes comes to me as soon as I open the doors.  I pull him into my arms and breathe in the scent of him.

 

"How are you?  Do you need anything?"

 

"Just you, Wes, just you."

 

I scoop him up in my arms and take the stairs two at a time.  Once in our bedroom I smother his face and neck in kisses.

 

"My lord, Angel, you only went to Sunnydale."

 

"I just missed you."

 

"I'll say.  Now sit up and tell me the truth.  Are you truly alright?  I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you."

 

I sit back against the headboard and pull him close.

 

"It was...sad, but I'm better now.  Now that I'm back with you."

 

I bury my head in his hair.  Although my sadness at losing first Spike, and then Xander in such a short time weighs down on me I can't help the bubbling happiness of having Wesley in my arms.  I lay us back down and pull him tight against me.  I didn't think I would ever feel joy this way again.  The years I fought against my nature, the very thing I was, it all seems so much sweeter now.

 

Once again I thank The Powers and let sleep slide over me as I clutch Wesley to my chest.  My life, my love, my future, slowly strokes my chest as I drop into they abyss of peaceful sleep.

 

 

~finis~

 

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