I
started at the School of Social Welfare in 1993. I had spent the past two
years living in my hometown of Buffalo, New York, trying to figure out what
I
wanted to do with my psychology degree. During this time, I was also coming
to
terms with being gay, and my decision to go to Stony Brook had a lot to do
with this process. There was part of me that wanted to get far away from Buffalo,
where there seemed to be so much at stake for me in being openly gay.
I had come out to most of my friends, but still dreaded talking to my parents
about it. Living in a small city, I worried about running into to high school
classmates, ex-girlfriends, and neighbors who might respond to me differently
once they knew that I was gay. It will sound funny to native Long Islanders
(and sounds funny to me now) that I thought that Long Island would be a place
where coming out would be easier. Like most upstate folks, I had the perception
that Long Island was an extension of New York City, with its openness to diversity
and progressive politics. I thought that New York City would be a hop, skip,
and a jump away.
The School of Social Welfare's strong mission to advance social justice really attracted me. I thought that this would be a place where I could build a career out of my long-held interest in helping those less fortunate than myself. My mother was a major source of this pro-social tendency, telling me at a young age: "Andy, you can do whatever you want to do in your career as long as you make the world a better place." I also noticed that the school had an LGB Caucus, and imagined that this school would be a place where I wouldn't have to worry so much about people accepting me as a gay man.
I quickly
learned that some of my assumptions were off base. While geographically close
to progressive New York City, suburban Long Island is not an easy
place for a young man to come out - like most places across our country.
I did meet a handful of openly gay classmates, but soon discovered that virtually
the only places to get together with other gay people were a couple of bars
requiring long car drives. I became President of the school's LGB Caucus and
saw how difficult it was for students of all ages to come out, witnessed in
poorly attended meetings and the ambivalence expressed by students who participated.
Even worse, I saw how posters advertising our group's meetings would mysteriously
disappear and some were even defaced with anti-gay comments.
Luckily, I was bolstered by the encouragement of classmates and
professors.
Their support fended off feelings of disillusionment. In fact,
I became more
active as the months went by, running for President of my class and the school's
representative to the Graduate Student Organization. I wrote articles for
the
graduate student newspaper raising awareness of human rights injustices. And,
important to my own personal development, I got involved with social justice
issues beyond gay concerns: homelessness, welfare reform, and HIV/AIDS.
Stony Brook may not have been the refuge from homophobia that I wanted, but
it
turned out to be the place where I grew up and figured out ways to deal with
homophobia and isolation. I ended up staying on Long Island after graduation,
getting my first job at the agency where I did my second year internship.
Nearly ten years later, my resolve to make the world a better place continues
at
Pride For Youth (a project of Long
Island Crisis Center). I oversee a program that advocates for lesbian
and gay youth.
My coming out process continues as well: I have since come out to my parents
and other family members, had a commitment ceremony with my partner, and been
interviewed on the six o'clock news about gay political issues. We
all learn
how "the personal is political" in our studies at Stony Brook.
For me, Stony
Brook was a place where the personal, political, and professional all came
together as I prepared to pursue a career improving the lives of lesbian
and gay people.
Andy
Peters, CSW
Associate Director for Program Development
Long
Island Crisis Center
y mother was a major source of this pro-social tendency, telling me at a young age: 'Andy, you can do whatever you want to do in your career, as long as you make the world a better place'.