If you...
+gnaw on a Monkees hair you'll have bad luck forever
+lick a Monkees cheek you'll get a side glance and quick repeat
+kiss a Monkee, he will smile and bite you
+shove your boobs in a Monkees' face to sign (proven true), he will smile and say "If your mom wasn't here..."
+have a Monkee baby, you shall get rich
+pull down a Monkees pants, your getting a big... swing
+fart in front of a Monkee, you're bound to be agented
+ask for Micky Rooney, he shall respond