Choose to support a team from a city you've never even been to.
Choose whining.
Choose to wear shit grey shirts then blame them when Southampton stuff you.
Choose to release Cantona because he's the only one who recognises how shit Cole is.
Choose cheating.
Choose not to condemn your player after he has just kicked the shit out of an opponent
Choose to blame the other team when Beckham gets sent off.
Choose to spend your career in the reserves because the money's good.
Choose a psychopath for your captain and call him a gifted visionary.
Choose the arrogance to field your reserve team
Choose not to be liked by anyone and pretend not to care.
Choose your own referee and assistants
Choose a Scandinavian paper boy as your top goal scorer.
Choose to have the biggest squad in British football and then complain about injuries.
Choose your club before your country.
Choose not to play in the FA Cup.
Choose to be arse-licked by the media and then accuse them of anti-United bias.
Choose to forget 1969 to 1993 ever existed.
Choose to change the team you support every 10 years.
Choose to shield your players from TV interviews until they can read and write.
Choose Jordi Cruyff.
Choose to change your kit 6 times a season.
Choose to be snubbed by every decent player around the world and pretend that you didn't want them anyway.
Choose your greatest ever player as an incoherent, wife-beating, alcoholic named Best.
Choose to poach your "impressive youth policy" from other clubs.
Choose to sign a world class centre forward beginning with SH and pretend not to care when you get Sheringham instead of Shearer.
Choose embarrassment.
CHOOSE SCUM!