1.  Three Jayhawks were walking through the woods and came upon some tracks.  
    The first one bent down to look at the tracks and said, "I think they are 
    Gopher tracks."  The second one bent down and said, "I think they're 
    Wolverine tracks."  The third one bent down and got hit by a train.

2.  One day Johnny came home very excited.  "Mommy, Mommy, guess what!  Today 
      in English I got all the way to the end of the alphabet, and everyone
      else got messed up at around 'P'!"
    His mother said, "very good, dear.  That's because we're a KU family."
    The next day, Johnny was even more excited.  "Mommy, Mommy, guess what!
      Today in math I counted all the way to ten, but everyone else messed up
      around seven!"
    "Very good dear," his mother replied.  "That's because we're a KU family."
    On the third day, Johnny was beside himself.  "Mommy, Mommy, today we
      measured ourselves and I'm the tallest one in my class!  Is that because
      we are a KU family?"
    "No dear," she said, "it's because you're 26 years old."

3.  A man walks into a store and says, "I would like a blue hat, red pants, 
    blue sweater, and white shoes."  The clerk says, "Are you a Jayhawk fan?" 
    "Yes," replies the man, "How did you guess--by the color combination?"
    "No," answers the clerk, "this is a hardware store."

4.  Definition of Jayhawk Pervert:  Someone who likes sex more than basketball

5.  There was a couple who were getting divorced, so the judge said to the
    child, "Who do you want to live with?  Do you want to live with your Dad?"
    "No," said the child, "he beats me."
    "Do you want to live with your Mom?"
    "No, she beats me too."
    "Well who do you want to live with?"
    "I want to live with a KU fan."
    Confused the judge asked, "Why?"
    The child replies, "because they never beat anybody!"

6.  A Wildcat, a Sooner, and a Jayhawk went walking in the desert.  The Sooner
    brought a bucket of water, the others asked, "Why did you bring a bucket
    of water?"  The Sooner replied, "If I get hot I can dump the water on
    myself."  The Wildcat also brought a container of water, and the others
    asked, "Why did you bring water?"  He answered, "If I get hot I can drink
    it."  The Jayhawk had a car door with him.  The others asked, "why did you
    bring that?"  He said, "If I get hot I can roll down the window!"

7.  There were two KU grads digging a ditch.  One says to the other, "How is
    it that we are in here but that KSU grad is not doing a thing up there?"
    The other answers, "Well, gee, I don't know.  Why don't I go ask him."
    So the first KU grad goes up to the supervising KSU grad and says, "How
    come you get to stay up here but we have to work our tails off down
    there?"  The KSU grad puts his hand up to a tree and says, "You see my
    hand?  Hit it as hard as you can!"  The KU grad pulls back and swings very
    hard.  Before he hit it, the KSU grad moved his hand.  Cringing in pain,
    the KU grad went back to the ditch.  When he arrives the other KU grad
    asks, "Well, what did he say?"  The first one puts his hand to his face
    and says, "See my hand?  Hit it as hard as you can."

8.  Why can't KU have a nativity scene for Christmas each year?
    Because they can't find three wise men and a virgin.

9.  A guy walks into a bar and asked the bartender if he wants to hear a KU 
    joke.  The bartender says, "The guy in the corner is Roy Williams.  The 
    guy next to him is a KU baseball player.  The guy in the other corner is
    the football coach, and I played there for five years.  Do you STILL want 
    to tell your joke?  The guy says, "No.  I don't feel like explaining it 
    four times!"