Panicked by a letter from the IRS that he's gonna be  audited, a man calls his
accountant. The accountant tells  him not to worry: he has all the necessary
bills, receipts and records. But he suggested, just to be on the safe side,
that the man dress shabbily, so the auditor will think him  poor and go easy
on him.

Not convinced, the man calls his lawyer next and explains he's to be audited
and what the accountant told him. The lawyer said he disagreed; the man should
dress nice, so the auditor will see he's a respectable person.

More confused and worried than ever, the man calls his  minister and tells the
story a third time, as well as the advice he's been given.  The Minister sez,
"I have the same problems with marriages. The Mother of the bride wants her to
dress like an old fashioned girl. Naturally, the groom wants her to wear
something provocative. I'll tell you the same thing I tell the bride.  It
doesn't matter much what ya wear, or don't wear -- you're gonna get screwed
good."