A man is in a hotel lobby.  He wants to ask the clerk a question.  As he
turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him
and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your
heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

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Son takes his father to the doctor. Doctor gives them the bad news that the
father is dying of cancer. Father tells the son that he has had a good long
life and wants to stop at the bar on the way home to celebrate it.  While at
the bar, the father sees several of his friends.  He tells them that he is
dying of AIDS.  When the friends leave the son asks, "Dad, you are dying of
cancer.  Why did you tell them that you are dying of AIDS?"  The father
replies, "I don't want them fucking your mother after I'm gone!"

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One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that someone
had written the word 'PENIS' (in tiny letters) on the blackboard.

She scanned the class looking for a guilty face.  Finding none, she rubbed
the word off and began class.

The next day, the word 'PENIS' was written on the board again; this time it
was written about halfway across the board.

Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the
day's lesson.  Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom
and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's being
larger than the previous one, and each being rubbed off vigorously.  At the
end of the second week, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same
word on the board but instead found the words: "The more you rub it, the
bigger it gets."

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A young American Indian goes up to his father Wild Wind and asks him,
"Father, why is my sister called Riding Horse?"  "Because, my son she
was conceived while we were riding a horse."

The boy considers this for a moment and then asks, "Father, why is my
brother called Fearless Snake?"

"Because he was conceived just after your mother and I had stopped
running from an angry snake, my son."  The boy's father looks at him
curiously and eventually asks, "But why all these questions, Broken
Condom?"

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A man wanted a hundred dollar bill tatooed to his penis.  So he goes to a
Tatoo Shop and makes the request.  The Tatoo designer tells him that it would
cost him $1000.00 to do the special bizarre request.  The guy thinks for a
while and decides that its a fair price.  The designer starts the tatoo-ing
and in the middle of the job asks the man, "Why are you doing this?" The man
replies, "That's personal."

With that, the designer continues to do the tatoo.  The designer intrigued by
such a bizarre request he tells the customer, "I'll waive the $1000.00 if you
tell me why you are doing this."

The man thinks again and replies, "Okay, that's reasonable."  The man
continues, "There are three reasons, first I like to play with money, second
I like to watch money grow, and third and the most important, if my wife
wants to blow a hundred, well, she can do it right at home"