What is the thinnest book in the world?  What men know about women.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?  One - Men will screw 
anything.

How does a man take a bubble bath?  He eats beans for dinner.

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?   He's breathing.

What do men and beer bottles have in common?   They are both empty from the 
neck up.

How can you tell if a man is happy?   Who cares.

What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?  Lifting his leg so you 
can vaccum.

What does a man consider a seven course meal?  A hot dog and a six pack.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?   E.T. phoned home.

What should you give aman who has everything?  A woman to show him how to 
work it.

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?  To stop the snoring
before it starts.

How does a man show that he's planning for the future?  He buys two cases of 
beer instead of one.

How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?  All he cared about was legs, 
breasts, and thighs.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?  The same urge 
that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why do bachelors like smart women?  Opposites attract.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?  After a year, the 
dog is still excited to see you.

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?  Just when it's getting 
interesting, they're finished until the next time.

Why do men find it difficultto make eye contact?  Breasts don't have eyes.

Whats a man's idea of foreplay?  A half hour of begging.

Why are blonde jokes so short?  So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?   We don't know - 
it's never happened.