Why do Men like BMW's? - Because they can spell it.

MAN: "Fancy a Quickie?"
WOMAN: "As opposed to what?"

What does a smart guy do in an M&M Factory? - Proofread

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? - One, Men will screw
anything.

What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing? - Castrated.

Why do men name their penises? - They don't like the idea of having a
stranger make 90% of their decisions.

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? - He's breathing.

What is a man's idea of safe sex? - A padded headboard.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? - It depends how thinly you
slice them.

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do
the dishes? - Both of them.

How do you tell if a man is happy? - Who cares?

What's the difference between a woman and a computer? - A computer doesn't
laugh at a 3.5 inch floppy.

Why do men like Masturbation? - Because it's sex with someone they love.

What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common? - Men miss them both.

What does a man consider a seven-course meal? - A hot dog and a six pack.

What's a world without men? - A world of fat, happy women.