The top ten signs you are not going to graduate from high school this year:

10) During fittings for caps and gowns, you're sent out to the football 
    field to look for four leaf clovers.

 9) Your only English paper was titled "TV Guide: Gateway to Viewing 
    Pleasure."

 8) You miss a lot of classes to appear in lineups.

 7) During final exams, teachers ask you to go out and get their lunch.

 6) Your rebuttal in the first round of the debate tournament: "You've 
    convinced me!"

 5) Nobody believes the pot in your locker was planted by "those Whitewater 
    dudes."

 4) Johnie Cochran calls, asking you to serve on his next jury.

 3) They're giving you an incomplete in shop until you find the teacher's
    finger.

 2) It's nearly May, and you still haven't found your homeroom.

 1) Your name is Kenny.  This year's prom theme is "Sorry You Won't Be 
    graduating, Kenny."