A pirate walks into a bar. Naturally, the other patrons, not having seen a
pirate in quite a while, are curious about him and start asking him about
his injuries.

"How did you get that peg-leg?" asks one man.

"Argh," says the priate. "I was forced to walk the plank and had a tussle
with a shark. I fought off the scurvy dog, but not before he took me leg."

"Wow... but how'd you get that hook?" asks another.

"Argh," says the pirate. "I was duelin' with another pirate trying to steal
me treasure. And he chopped off my hand."

The other bar patrons are very impressed. Finally, somebody asks, "How'd you
get that eye-patch?"

"Argh," says the pirate. "A seagull pooped in my eye."

"And you lost your eye from that?"

"Well, not exactly," explains the pirate. "It was my first day with the hook."