Food for Thought

- Life is sexually transmitted.
- Kids in the back seat cause accidents; acccidents in the back seat cause kids.
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrrights made an airplane.
- It's not the pace of life that concerns mme, it's the sudden stop at the end.
- The problem with the gene pool is that thhere is no lifeguard.
- It's hard to make a comeback when you havven't been anywhere.
- Living on Earth is expensive, but it doess include a free trip around the sun.
- The only time the world beats a path to yyour door is if you're in the
    bathroom.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he wouuld have put them on my knees.
- Never knock on Death's door; ring the dooorbell and run (he hates that).
- Lead me not into temptation (I can find tthe way myself).
- When you're finally holding all the cardss, why does everyone else decide to
    play chess?
- If you're living on the edge, make sure yyou're wearing your seat belt.
- The mind is like a parachute; it works muuch better when it's open.
- Never take life seriously.  Nobody gets oout alive, anyway.
- There are two kinds of pedestrians...the  quick and the dead.
- An unbreakable toy is useful for breakingg other toys.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- Good health is merely the slowest possiblle rate at which one can die.
- It's not hard to meet expenses...they're  everywhere.
- Jury: Twelve people who determine which cclient has the better attorney.
- The only difference between a rut and a ggrave is the depth.