Afternoon at the Luthor castle and Clark dropped his bookbag before hauling Lex into a bear hug, swooping in for his 'hello' kiss with enthusiasm. "Hey, baby."
"Hey yourself, gorgeous," Lex said, slim fingers tickling at Clark's waist. "Now, while I have you in my nefarious clutches, tell me: what does the birthday boy want this year? Tomorrow's the big day, you know."
"What? You didn't get me anything yet?" Clark pouted and pulled away. "You stink."
"Better I get you something you enjoy then something you have no use for, right?" Lex said smoothly. "So just tell me what you want. To make up for my lack of romantic foresight, this year it can be anything."
"Anything?"
"Anything at all."
"You really mean anything?"
"Yes, that's what I said three times," Lex replied patiently. "Anything."
"Okay then. I want sex. A whole night full of nothing but sex with you. Hot, delicious, sweaty sex and nothing but sex," Clark said firmly. "In fact, I want my sex to have sex."
"All right," Lex laughed. "I'm getting the idea, Clark. Are you sure that's all you want?"
"Very sure. But I want it to be *special * sex. That kind of sex you think everybody else is having but you never will."
"Special sex," Lex said slowly. "What kind of special sex?"
"Nothing too weird. Just a little loosening of the old dress code," Clark said, playfully tugging on the collar of Lex's work shirt. "You know, something tight and ... " He leaned in to whisper in Lex's ear. "Slutty."
Lex drew back fractionally. "Slutty?"
Clark nodded enthusiastically. "Yep. Slutty. Pull out the old slut gear, Lex. I want it all. Tight shirt, tight pants, no underwear or socks, just little shiny snug things I can rip off with my teeth."
"Okay, Fido, I'll see what I can dig up." Drily.
"And I want to be able to see your nipples through the shirt."
Lex looked down at his chest curiously. "Is that possible?"
"Sure! Ice 'em up."
Lex gaped at him for a full ten seconds. "You want me to ice my nipples?"
"If that's what it takes," Clark replied cheerfully. "And be sure there's a big hard-on waiting for me too. I want to look at you and see nothing but The Horny. I want everything hard. Nipples, dick ... everything."
"Hard cock too. Do I get a fluffer?"
Clark frowned. "No, you do not get a 'fluffer' -- other than your right hand, that is. Speaking of using your hand ... yeah, that's another thing I want. When I come over, I want you on the bed, jerking off," said Clark enthusiastically. "And have some rope or something ready. Because I want to tie you to the bed to stop you from jerking off, because you're all slutty and horny, see?"
"Right." Hesitantly. "Let's take a minute to go through the grocery list here, shall we? You want hypersexuality, exhibitionism, masturbation, bondage ..."
"And I want a lot of noise too. You're too quiet and polite most of the time. I want screaming and yelling and windows rattling and stuff."
"And stuff." Lex massaged his temples, wincing slightly. "Clark, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed here."
"Why? You've done all this before."
"I have? When was this and how did I miss it?"
"You know, in your ..." Clark made little quotation marks with his fingers. "... wild days. Before you came to Smallville."
"Ah," said Lex. He bit his lower lip thoughtfully. "Clark, if I told you that the rumors of my teenage debauchery were slightly, and I mean, ever-so-slightly exaggerated ..."
Clark quickly cut him off. "I wouldn't believe a word of it. You were a wild slut in those days, dancing until dawn, screwing everything in your path. A devil in a red dress, high-heels and black leather pants. Spent hot nights howling naked at the moon, while cat-o'-nine-tails cracked and fur-lined chains rattled," Clark said rapturously, grinning like a loon. "Oh yeah, you were a savage little number back then, Lex."
"I was?" Lex scratched his chin. "Damn."
"Until the day you found true love, of course." Clark sighed wistfully. He poked Lex in the ribs. "And then decided to trade all that in for baggy linen trousers and long coats. Couldn't you have kept the leather, at least?"
"I have leather," Lex protested. "Gloves ... jacket ... shoes."
"Pants?"
"As shocking as this may sound, I never owned leather pants, Clark," Lex said. "They offend my rather particular sense of hygiene."
It was Clark's turn to gape. "Do ... not ... say ... that."
Lex grimaced. "How about this? I had five pairs but they were ripped to shreds in those last few orgies. Is that any better?"
"That's better," Clark breathed. "Now, let's get all this straight one more time. For my birthday boink, I want slutty clothes, horny attitude, jerking off, lots of yelling and some mild tying up. Will that be okay?"
"I guess so." Lex glanced at him nervously. "Are you sure you want to do all that? Shouldn't we keep a little of the spontaneity?"
"The best sex is often planned. Loosely planned, that is. We can get into the details of what I tie you up with later. You wouldn't happen to have any red silk, would you?"
"Just lying around? No, but ... I guess I could get some."
"Mmmm. That would be nice. Two pieces, an extra one for the gag."
Lex's eyes widened. "The gag? But I thought you wanted screaming and yelling?" He shook his head. "Clark, I ... I ..."
"What? What's wrong?"
"I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm ... getting nervous. I mean, what if I get it wrong?" Lex stammered. "I mean, okay, I've had a lot of sex, true, but the howling and screaming and whipping and dancing around swinging cock rings over my head -- that's kind of an urban legend." He scrubbed at his scalp. "Sort of." Finally threw up his hands in despair. "Okay, all of it. I'm strictly vanilla, Clark. Mostly. Maybe with some chocolate syrup on the side."
Clark looked heartbroken. "Does that mean there's no nipple icing?"
"Clark, whatever you want to do is fine with me. I just don't want to screw it up. I love you and want you to have a good time on your birthday. And if I can't live up to the ..." Here, Lex made the quotation marks. " ... Luthor legend ... I don't want to disappoint you."
A slow smile spread across the generous mouth. "You can't disappoint me, Lex. Ever." Hazel eyes twinkled. "Besides, you know I'm pulling your leg, right?"
"You're what?" Lex's eyes narrowed to points. "Clark ..."
Clark ignored the obvious danger signals fairly steaming from Lex's ears. "Although now that I'm thinking about all this stuff, it sounds pretty hot."
"That's it. You're not getting anything for your birthday."
"We could use the silk, I think. Mmmm. Tied up with silk."
"Nothing, you little bastard, you're getting nothing. And I lied. For your information, I can twirl a dildo like a baton."
"With silver streamers on each end?"
"Fuck you, Clark."
"That's the idea," Clark chuckled. "Happy birthday to me!"