Forever Kelsey

Welcome to my life... Please excuse the mess!

"You see? That's just like you Harry. You say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you."
"When Harry met Sally"

April 2, 2001

This has been a weekend of mis-communications, dishonesty, honesty, soul searching, realization, confusion, sleeplessness, tears, hurting people we care about and (thank god) Xanax... For the first time in forever, I am glad it is Monday.
I have no idea what's to come, but I do know this... The imagination is a powerful thing, and the truth is never as bad as you think....
I have been faithful and honest about my feelings, for all the good it's done me... I can at least say that.

March 29, 2001

"Somedays you just want to say "Fuck it" and go have a beer..."

"Find what you love, love what you find..."

March 22, 2001

The older I get, the more I realize just how different men and women are... we think differently, we rationalize differently, we come to terms with things differently... There are so many differences I am surprised we can tolerate each other at all sometimes... but we do. We fall in love with those differences and then after time they drive us mad... and understanding this does not make it any easier to deal with... but would we really want to spend our lives with someone just like ourselves? How boring that would be... to always agree, to always have the same opinion, to like all of the same things. You would never grow, never have the chance to debate your own beliefs and values, you would never try new and exciting and yes, different things... some that will become a part of you and some that you may not like, in fact, you may just hate... One thing I will guarantee though, you will learn so much... about yourself, about the person you love and about this crazy, crazy thing we call life! Everyone needs a different perspective to give us perspective ourselves...
So I will take the rollercoaster relationship over the dull "YES" relationship anyday... no matter how many ulcers and grey hairs it gives me and because in the end I believe it is always worth it!

"I asked the sky for all the answers, but all it did was rain."

March 16, 2001

Why is it that we always realize what we have just a split second after the door closes???

I have fallen for 3 people in my life...

The first when I was 21 years old... I was so infatuated with "the boy in the band" the one all the girls wanted... I married him. We spent a lot of years together tearing each other apart... blaming each other for what we had given up and in the end we ended up hating each other for it.

The second time was my first "grown up" relationship... not a lot of passion, more of a comfortable quietness. Neither one of us was happy with this type of existence, and after 4 years together, it ran its course. We have started to become friends again... and I feel we will probably be friends till the end of our lives.

This last relationship has been a roller coaster of emotions for me...it came out of nowhere... a best friend turned lover... I remember the very second that I realized my feelings for him had changed and it hit me like a ton of bricks... lots of passion, lots of fighting, and more laughter than I have probably ever known. He brightens my days, he rocks my nights, he makes me madder than hell, and just as quickly sends me into hysterics. He is so much more than I think he knows. I still get butterflies when I hear his voice and my heart starts racing when I see him. Maybe he will never know just how much he means to me... maybe if he did he wouldn't ever doubt my feelings again. He woudn't doubt me. God, I miss you!

"Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today"

So.... my friend Coleen and I moved into this absolutely beautiful apartment at the beginning of February... we just fell in love with it... unfortunately... our neighbors did not fall in love with us or our friends... they have asked us to move. UGH!!!
It's not like we have even had any raging parties... yet!
So....... here we go again.

You ever have days when you are just so greatful for the friends you have... I am having a day like that now. We are all going through so much right now and it has been great that we have each other to get through the shitty times and find laughter. So in case I don't tell you often enough, Thanks Coleen, Jill, Barb, Su, Mary, Jay, Johnny, Joe, Liv, Keith and last but never ever least, Richie...

In the last year I have become a professional nosy body... I just cannot get enough of other people's weblogs... it feels a bit intrusive to read about people's lives that you don't even know, but there is so much insight to be gained by others... and hey... they put it out there to be read right?