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| Defense Against the Dark Arts was possibly Remus� favorite class in the entire building. The more he learned, the more excited he became. Yet that particular Thursday on a cold day in November was the exception. He found that his usual attentiveness did not go toward the class matter, but a member of the class itself. Shaia sat across the room with Lily as she always had. Staring at her was too much to bear on his heart. He wasn�t actually sure of what to think as he stared at her longingly. Only a week ago he had been able to stare at her face for hours in the Astronomy Tower as they talked and shared stories with each other. After Halloween night, (which now seemed so long ago) it was almost a given that Shaia didn�t want to meet Remus in the Tower. However, that hadn�t stopped him from going up at eleven every night to look. Much to his dismay, Shaia had not been there. It had disheartened him, to say the least, but he still visited the Tower to collect his thoughts. Shaia had been right; the Tower was a great place for thinking. He looked back at his book and saw that none of the words made sense to him. It was just a jumble of letters on a page. He couldn�t think straight. Peter suddenly nudged him out of his thoughts, literally. �What did Professor Orbiter say we had to do for the essay?� Remus shook the fog from his head and looked at his small, blond friend. �What?� �PSST!� came a harsh whisper from behind Remus. He spun around, his light hair smacking Peter in the side of the face. �Oy! Remus, you git! Watch where you shake that mane!� Ignoring Peter, Remus faced James, who was staring at him intensely. �Do you have any idea what you�re doing?� �Well, no, I kind of wasn�t paying attention�� �Not the class,� he said, and turned cautiously over his shoulder to see Sirius talking to someone sitting opposite his desk. �I�m talking about Shaia.� Remus� eyes fell downward. �W-What about her?� �You know what,� he said, lowering his voice to a whisper. �I don�t want you and her to get close unless you mean it.� Remus frowned. �What are you talking about?� �You and Shaia.� �There�s no me and Shaia.� James didn�t miss a beat. �Maybe not, Remus, but just remember what is what! Shaia doesn�t know about you, so if you choose any kind of life with her, put her before yourself.� �Life with her?� Remus asked confusedly. But he could not respond as Sirius had turned back to the conversation. James pulled out a quill and a piece of parchment, scratched hurriedly, and flung the note at Remus. �Sirius may be in love with Shaia, but it�s obvious who she truly wants. If you want her too, make the commitment. Don�t toy with her heart, Moony. She doesn�t need that again.� Remus blinked, setting the note down. Again? �Are you going to the library again, Shaia?� �I have to. N.E.W.T.S. are a huge deal!� �But they�re not for months, Shaia!� �How many times have we had this argument, Sirius?� He finally sighed dejectedly. �Fine. Bury yourself in your books. See if I care.� Shaia only turned her head away from him. �Like you would care anyway.� She spun on her heel and before Sirius could say anything more, she shot out of the common room. However, she did not go to the library as she had first intended. She needed her escape. She needed the Tower. She had avoided it for a week in case Remus had decided to try and meet her up there. Yet now, she really didn�t care. She had to get away to her sanctuary again. Taking the shortest route possible, she made her way up to the Tower and settled in her window. But little did she know, she was not alone in the darkness. The whisper was actually tiny in volume but boomed so loudly in her ears that she jumped out of her skin. �Shaia.� �Remus?� �Yes.� She snuffed, looking back to the window. �Go away.� He walked out the shadows toward her, almost lurking. �I� I can�t.� �Why? Why can�t you leave me alone?� she shot, not looking at him as there were tears dropping out of her eyes. �There�s a good reason for what I�m hiding from you,� he said, ignoring the demand she had given. �Sure there is,� she said very bitterly. �Shaia,� he pleaded. �Shaia, it�s too dangerous for you to know what my secret is.� �Don�t you get it?� she said, jumping down from her window and advancing on Remus. �That�s not what I was so worried about. You have your secrets and I have mine. That�s not as important to me as this�� she stepped back, turning to the window again. �I like Sirius, oh I like him a lot. He makes me laugh and I know he loves me. But he just doesn�t affect me the way that you do. I can�t stop it. I don�t want to break his heart, but I can�t lie to my own.� Remus couldn�t move his mouth. She had spoken her when he was sure she would have run from him. All he wanted was to scream his feelings at her, but it felt like so much was holding him back from actually saying it out loud. �Shaia,� he whispered after a few moments of silence. He stepped closer to her and she did not move away. �I don�t want us to just forget about each other because of this. I want us to keep talking like we have been.� �Remus,� she said softly through a chuckle. �Such a dreamer.� She turned to face him, her eyes sad and regretful. �We can never just keep talking. There�s so much more inside me for you that to act like we�re only friends would be a lie.� �I can�t not live without you,� he admitted shakily. �You have to.� As she turned to walk away, Remus stepped to grasp her desperately. �D-Don�t go.� The sheer sorrow in his tone broke Shaia�s heart. After hearing it, all she could really think of to do was stay with him. Slowly but surely, he wrapped his arms around her small frame protectively. She, in turn, slipped her arms around him and held him in. He could never have imagined getting as close to her as he was at that moment, and not just physically, but emotionally as well. They stayed joined together in an embrace for what felt like hours. Suddenly, Remus let go of Shaia and she stumbled backward unexpectedly. Sirius� voice could be heard echoing off the walls below them. Shaia turned toward a telescope hurriedly and fiddled with it while Remus pretended to analyze the sky through the window. Sirius clambered up the pulled stairs and stopped inside of the room. He saw Shaia bending over the telescope, but what he didn�t expect was to see Remus there as well. They were together. Alone. Shaia lifted her head from the scope and turned to face Remus. �You didn�t happen to see Andromeda, did you?� �Oh, no, but I got a great glimpse of Venus�s moons,� he bluffed, turning a dark shade of red. Shaia turned quickly to face Sirius and in feigned surprise, she gasped. �Sirius! I didn�t see you there!� �Oh yeah,� he said, recovering himself quickly. He�d almost forgotten he was there. �I went to find you in the library, but when I didn�t see you I asked around. Lily said you came up here for extra studying sometimes. I-I didn�t know Remus would be here as well.� �Oh,� Shaia began, looking at her feet. �Well�� Remus jumped to the rescue. �Well, Sirius, you know how much of a dope I am when it comes to Astronomy,� he began. �I was struggling with homework in the common room and Shaia offered to help me later,� he turned to her. �She was helping me identify Jupiter�s moons.� �Okay,� Sirius said, then unconcernedly turned back to Shaia. He gazed at her for a minute and then took her hands. �I know you�re probably still angry with me, so I wanted to say this as soon as possible. I�m sorry for what I said. I didn�t mean that I didn�t care about you,� he paused to sigh. �I know your work is important to you, especially this year, but I�m tired of never getting time to spend with you.� �I know,� Shaia patted his hand comfortingly. �These are frustrating times.� �I don�t know how you two do it,� he blurted all at once. Shaia and Remus both looked up sharply. Sirius didn�t seem to notice. �I mean, I barely ever get time with you, but somehow you guys are closer than ever.� �Well�� �No! No! I think it�s actually sort of brilliant,� he commented. �I like that you get along so well�� they cast nervous glances at one another, ��but I just wish I knew how you did it.� Looking back and forth at the two of them, he shrugged. �All right,� he said, backing up. �I�ll see you two later. Bye, Shaia.� He let his eyes wander onto her face before walking down the ladder and out of the room. Continuing down the hall, Sirius thought about what a good person Shaia was. She was taking time out of her already hectic schedule to tutor his best friend. Yet the more he thought about their studying session, the odder the situation seemed to him. Neither of them had had books, paper, or even so much as a pen. And if he recalled his planets correctly, Venus didn�t have any moons. �He�s gone,� Remus said, reemerging from the hall. �That was close.� Shaia sat back and felt her eyelids droop heavily. She pressed her hand on her forehead and Remus stared at her worriedly. She looked on the verge of a meltdown, but as he watched for the burst of emotion, her stressed look turned into laughter. After a while, to his complete confusion, she was hooting maniacally, clutching her side and wiping tears from her face. Not able to stand silent any longer, Remus asked, �What is so funny?� She couldn�t speak she was laughing so hard. Much to Remus� increasing amusement, she fought harder and harder to talk and after a few minutes of trying, she managed to get something out. � �I got a great glimpse of Venus�s moons?� Remus, oh my God,� she laughed. �What?� �VENUS HAS NO MOONS!� she roared and laughed harder. He cracked a smile and muttered an, �Oh,� which made her giggle a little more. �Okay, that was kind of stupid of me� but I panicked! I didn�t know what to say. I thought if I just conformed to what you were saying, it wouldn�t sound right. It would sound too conspicuous.� She shrugged. �But don�t you think it�s a bit obvious already? Venus�s moons? Won�t he figure it out?� Remus crinkled his nose. �I doubt it.� Coming down from the laughing high she had been on, Shaia sighed. �I really hope you�re right.� There was a sudden moment of silence as the two stared at each other. Their brown eyes met and Remus couldn�t believe he had never noticed the golden sparks in them before. The comfort between them was recognized and well missed. Before Remus could stop his legs, he moved closer to her and allowed his hand to move slowly up to her cheek. She felt the sparks at the connection and didn�t feel the need to suddenly pull away as she would have minutes ago. Allowing the back of his hand to move up and down the course of her cheek, he realized that he had been right in guessing her skin was silky soft. Staring into her eyes, he knew that his was the next move, and it was exactly what he had wanted to do for weeks. Letting his eyelashes caress his face as they fluttered close, his head leaned in to match hers and finally, as if it had been so long in coming, their lips touched. Her lips felt so right against his own that all he could do was pause for a few moments to take in the sweetness. His hand moved from her face to the back of her neck and he let his fingers become entwined in her curly tresses. All he could be aware of was the fact that he was kissing her; he was close as all possible to her, and her reaction had been pleasant. She did not push him away but instead invited him in. Her hand had found its way to his free hand as she led his arm around her waist. Within a minute, they were locked together, sharing one of the most intimate kisses either of them had ever experienced. The kiss ended not long after and Remus stared into her eyes, not knowing what to say. There couldn�t have been much. Tears, however, were silently coursing their way down Shaia�s cheeks. He didn�t know what to make of them, so he kissed her cheek and pressed his face up against hers, getting as close to her as was humanly possible. She sobbed silently onto his chest, her shoulders shaking. �Shaia,� he whispered so tenderly that she broke out into a fresh pouring of tears. �Shaia, I don�t want you to cry.� She looked up and wiped her eyes hurriedly. �I don�t want to cry anymore, but I don�t want to be held up by someone else. You don�t need that.� |