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Current rumours from the world of gorilla and bear fights.
 
There are a number of rumours surrounding the current world of gorilla and bear fighting. Below is just a selection.
It is rumoured that a big fight is set to go ahead this coming springtime featuring a grizzly bear against a 'giant sized gorilla'. The fight is set to take place on top if the Eiffel Tower sometime in April and has been arranged by an 'unnamed Aussie media giant'.
Pop star James Brown is alleged to have three fully-grown grizzly bears in his caravan, whom he makes fight when touring.
Ex-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was said to have been aghast when first tipped off about gorilla fights by MI5. She was even more shocked to learn that several illegal gorilla fights had been staged by cheeky Downing Street staff! Current PM Tony Blair is more in touch with the times and is said to favour a match between a gorilla and a bear, although would not comment on the outcome.
There have been reports from the Rockie Mountains of a giant 18-foot bear roaming freely! Top bear specialists have so far been unable to track down the beast.
New training techniques for bears include skipping, use of rowing machines and press-ups, all of which are said to increase stamina.
A gorilla in New York is said to have completed a parachute jump, accompanied by an instructor.
The Russian Mafia are looking for an easy way into the lucrative bear fighting world, and are said to have approached Don King, the famous boxing promoter, in order to get a foot in the door.
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