Traveler, Writer, Aquarius, Peace Corps Volunteer
The evidence
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I�ll say this about Ukraine: they take their performing and their arts seriously, and I was amazed how many really talented performers they had. I could have cared less for the Solo and Pop stuff, but most of the contestants had terrific voices and could really sing, even if it was bubblegum music. The most impressive was the dancing, which was similar to the cheerleading competitions they show on ESPN without all of the tumbling and tossing. It was really highly choreographed and synchronized, and pretty original and creative.
As for the break dance and Hip Hop, I�d say that American culture has successfully permeated the old iron curtain. Some of those break dancers were outstanding, and they could bust moves with the best of them in the Bronx. And while I was pretty cynical before the Hip Hop competition started, I left impressed at the range of styles, from a two-man Kid-N-Play type group to a full-on Wu Tang ensemble to four guys in black hoodies doing heavy downtempo rap to a kind of DJ Shadow beat.
I was, however, staring at my watch every five minutes after the third hour wondering when this was going to end. I had made a couple different plans for the evening, and all of them actually involved me being back in Donetsk before moonlight blanketed the city. The final act wrapped around 6:45, and all of us in the jury rushed out to get this thing over with. It was when we finally began to deliberate that I wondered just what the hell I was doing there, because I clearly couldn�t communicate with any of them but Sergey and they were vociferously debating their pros and cons. I stood there with my score sheet in my hand and felt like the schmuck who wandered into the town hall meeting he wasn�t invited to.
It took about ten minutes for the other members of the jury to reach their verdicts. Like the runt of the litter, I followed them all back out onto the stage and just stood there looking at them while they read the results, deliberating whether this was actually a cool experience or a total and complete waste of my day. I was tired and ready to go. I asked Sergey what time we were leaving.
�Well, we still have the banquet.�
�Banquet?�
�Yes, there is always a banquet for the jury after a competition.�
Shit. Nobody told me about a banquet. But having gone hours since my last French fry, the idea of a free meal did sound appealing. We walked into the room adjoining the jury room and the table was decorated with all kinds of appetizers and of course the obligatory two bottles of vodka. I ate rather quietly while the clamorous crew discussed the day. That is, until they made me make a toast. See, in Ukraine, it�s not only that they drink to celebrate occasions. But for every shot there must be a toast. The first toast is usually made by the host. Then there�s the toast to love. Then the toast to women. Then the toast to men. Then I think there�s one more toast, and then the guest is required to make one. Thankfully, I�ve been here long enough to learn that you don�t have to do the whole shot with each round � you can only take a sip (you learn that one the hard way.) Otherwise, I might have been lucky just to stand let alone speak. I started by excusing myself and my poor Russian, and muddled my way through thanking them for inviting me and praising the talent in their community and other blah blah blah crap that I can�t remember but seemed eloquent at the time. They all responded graciously, and I have no idea whether it was genuine or put on, but I�d like to think I made a decent impression.
The good news is I made it back home in time to enjoy the rest of my evening. And as to whether the day was worth it or not, the jury�s still out. But how many Americans can say they judged the semifinals of a major Ukrainian talent competition? That�s a rhetorical question, by the way. Save your Googling and witty emails for later.
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