Traveler, Writer, Aquarius, Peace Corps Volunteer
The evidence
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Reflections on the First Month of �Service�
It�s hard to believe, but it�s been five weeks now since I arrived in my new home of Donetsk. On that first fateful day, Saturday December 27th, I got off the train at 7am with about 150 pounds of luggage spread out over two suitcases and two backpacks, was greeted by my new family who would feed and house me for the next three months, and proceeded home where I was treated to a welcome breakfast of potatoes and vodka shots. Now, as I sit here fighting a cold, anticipating my first day in the classroom tomorrow, and having finished reading the past month�s worth of International Newsweeks*, I can�t help but think about my first official month of service as a Peace Corps Volunteer.
* (The paucity of objective journalism and professionalism in that rag is staggering. My favorite line, from a special report on health and nutrition, concerns a pill that mimics the effects of calorie restriction and ostensibly helps people live longer. The author writes �Unfortunately, it sometimes slows metabolism to the point of cardiac arrest, which is an undesirable side effect in a drug intended to prolong life.�)
I feel I can honestly say, without fear of hyperbole, that I have done next to absolutely nothing since I got here except for eat, drink, write, work out, and check email. Now, to be fair, I was told that the entire month of January in Ukraine was a holiday. For all intents and purposes, it is. It starts with New Years, and then Ukrainian Christmas on January 7th, and then Old New Years on the 13th (thanks to the Eastern Orthodox calendar, they pretty much celebrate every holiday twice). Add to that the fact that January is exam month at the universities and institutes and new classes don�t actually begin until February, and the picture comes into focus like Katherine Ross realizing that Dustin Hoffman banged her mom for the summer (that�s a The Graduate reference, for those of you who are cinema-challenged).
Now, it�s not as if I�ve sat around in my underwear playing Free Cell and Spider Solitaire the whole time. Just a great portion of it. I did open my bank account; set up my P.O. box; join a health club (more on that later), meet with the local Jewish organization and offer to help a few days a week; meet with the English-language folks at the library and discuss a few classes with them; meet with another English-language firm and discuss teaching some film classes; and give five lectures to my department on American culture and English. Additionally, I wrote two more pieces for the Peace Corps Ukraine Journal, which should come out in a few weeks, whipped out a short story, and outlined a book I�m thinking about on the life of a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ukraine. But believe me, in the greater scheme of things, I�ve had a ton of downtime. This, however, will change dramatically, beginning tomorrow.
So what have been the highlights then, you ask? Well, let�s see. I�ve got a great group of friends here that I regularly hang out with. Last weekend, I went to Kyiv with a few of them for ice skating, dancing, skiing, and debauchery (the skiing fell through because it was two hours just to rent the gear and they didn�t have snowboards). I saw the local militia chase down a guy on foot while another militia ran him down in his car � literally, and then they kicked the crap out of him while he lay screaming on the ground. That�s something you don�t see in the States every day, unless you live in Compton maybe. I was with a DJ-friend of mine while he was spinning when he jumped out of the booth to punch a guy in the face before resuming to the turntables. And best of all, I have my new host family.
Host mom, Tamara, is right out of The Saturday Evening Post Donetsk edition. She�s a hard-liner who believes that men are strong and women need to cook and clean for them. Her idea of independence is the freedom to choose between two different detergents. Papa Valery is a chemistry professor who is actually an award-winning chemist for inventing some sort of portable oxygen apparatus that automates pulmonary resuscitation (and if any of you have friends in the med-tech field, let me know, �cause he has no idea how to market this thing). He mostly chain-smokes and watches t.v. when he�s not working on his dissertation, and he thinks that teaching more than nine hours a week is insanity. Older son Dima is rarely home, and when he is he rarely has anything to say to me. He�s actually one of the least-friendly people I�ve met here. And then there�s Jura, little Jura, all of 19 and brimming with life. I think I can sum up Jura�s life like this:
1. Wake up.
2. Eat.
3. Smoke.
4. Watch t.v. for four hours/listen to music.
5. Eat.
6. Smoke.
7. Watch t.v. four hours.
8. Study for an hour.
9. Eat.
10. Smoke.
11. Watch t.v. until bed.
He does leave the house occasionally, however, but I�m not sure where he goes. I think to hang out with the other monkeys. You see, I�m convinced he�s more animal than human and is hiding a prehensile tail under his trousers. He watches cartoons for five-year-olds and laughs hysterically. He eats with his mouth open and food flies out every minute or two. And the weirdest thing is the way he hangs all over his mom (okay, I won�t go there, but I�ve got to say I�ve seen a few disturbing things).
My saving graces, besides the friends, have been the gym and the Internet. The gym I joined is great and I have a trainer for the first time in my life. What a difference a trainer makes. We�re doing only strength training this month, and then starting a full circuit-training regimen in two weeks. I expect to be in shape again by mid-spring. As for the Internet, I can�t imagine what kind of mental state I�d be in without regular email access.
I suppose I�m looking forward to teaching, but I�ve got to say, this is not your father�s Peace Corps. Donetsk is a big city with tons of nightlife, volunteers regularly throw parties in different cities and go skiing in the Carpathians, and despite the fact that half my salary goes to my host family for food, I�ve been eating at nice Western-style restaurants pretty frequently the past two weeks (there�s only so much of the same crap one can eat over and over before the need for poached salmon or enchiladas kicks in).
Okay, that�s it for now. I hope to update the site a little more frequently than I have been. I still owe the communication breakdown piece on the fight I had with my family on Christmas and there�s a lot to say on the food-shopping front (I took Papa Valery to his first supermarket and he exclaimed it was like a museum). Oh, also, I�m still working out the kinks with the post office, so if anyone sends anything bigger than a letter, please let me know what it is (box, envelope, etc.) and when you sent it, just in case there are issues with it not showing up.
Four months down, twenty-three to go�
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