One day, I roll up at about 7:55 to open, and this lady pulls up next to me in a minivan. She worked at the shop next to mine, but had never seen me before. Also, she had apparently eaten cockroaches for breakfast. "Hey!" she says. "This parking is for the employees of these shops ONLY!"
"Oh, that's good." I said, straining to be cordial. "I'm Levi Stahl. I'm the new graphic artist at Artworks New York." I guess she didn't believe me. And I guess she didn't see me walk up to the front door and open it with a key.
At about 9:30, after my boss had arrived, I was sitting at my computer and heard the door ding. Her grating voice hit my ears like sandpaper on sunburn as she addressed my boss in the next room. "There was this guy here this morning... he's nowhere to be found now... he parked in your spot. He said he worked here... I just wanted to let you know... people are so unbelievable... etc." After smugly letting her dig herself in good and deep, I took my cue and presented myself with a sickeningly innocent smile.
"Oh... oh!" (awkward pause) "The... there he is!"
Smile.
"Yes, this is my new graphic artist, Levi."
Oh, no. That's okay. We've met.