Sporks are the llamas of eating utensils. They think they're so cool just because they're weird. But they're not cool. They're useless and annoying. They may not have long necks or spit on you for no reason, but their days as everyone's favourite utensil are numbered.
They're not spoons and they're not forks. That's the point, right? No. The point is that they're supposed to be spoons and forks. They're neither. They suck at life and should all die.
Seriously, have you ever tried eating with a spork before? They can barely stab into things because their prongs are half-assed, and when you try to scoop shit up, you don't get nearly as much if it's liquid because a bunch drains through the holes the shitty prongs make. Why can't people stop trying to be fucking convinient and just use the silverware that actually does its job and has the experience to do it well? They aren't called spoons and forks for no reason, you know? They had to earn those titles!
Finally, sporks don't even look cool. Their miniscule, barely-pointy prongs make them look disfigured and inadequate. The chopsticks are probably over in the corner laughing at the sporks right now, but I don't feel bad for them. They've had it coming for a long time.
~Boycott sporks.~
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