More often than not, an apple core on a cartoon always has a very thin center and it gets wider towards the end...
Why would you eat the nasty-assed seeds in the center and leave the perfectly good edges uneaten? Who would do that? It's just gross! Apples are not meant to be eaten that way. And even if you were going to eat the seeds, that would still not leave you justified to leave the edges uneaten as showed in most cartoons. Anyone who eats apples like those cartoons should have their brains blown out!
One day I saw this dude eating an apple. "Hey, what's up?" he asked, and I told him "Well, I was just wondering if you were gonna eat that apple right, or if you were going to eat it like an unrealistic moron!" And he goes "Whoa, dude, no one asked for a news report," and so I'm all "Fuck off! You asked!" and he's just sitting there going "Hmm.." when he's thinking 'Yeah, but I didn't really care,' but what I'M thinking is 'I really want to kick this guy's ass!'
So I proceeded to wrap my arm around his fat neck and squeeze. This surprised him and he did not know what to do about it. Then I punched him in the temple and loosed my grip so I could knee him in the jaw and make HIM bite HIS tongue off.
"See how you like that, bitch!" I taunted as he lie on the ground bleeding. Then I stomped on his spine and picked up his apple. "Eww, moron-germs!" I said aloud. Then I got SARS and died.
~Who eats apples like those cartoons? Send me an e-mail!~
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