Jesus Christ do I ever fucking hate the genre known as Horror.
Exhibit A: The Ring.
Fucking fuck. The way everyone shit their pants all the time about this movie made me think that there really might be something to this horror genre. However, I was disappointed.
People over the age of eight should not be affected by this movie at all. The only reason anyone under eight might be affected by it is because they're too fucking stupid to understand logic and reason. I, fortunately, was not one such eight-and-below-year-old. I was logically afraid of axe murderers, not monsters.
Anyway, the movie is stupid. It's not thought out, makes no sense, and is not scary at all. Some little girl, a nail stabbing through a finger (which is gross but not scary), random shit flying around in some shitty video, a guy electrocuting himself to death, some horse dying, and Naomi Watts magically defying all the stupid logic the movie had bothered to set up to pretend to save the day. Then some other guy died. Whatever.
Exhibit B: Darkness Falls.
The toothfairy is killing everyone. Aah. Oh no. There's no logic behind it; she just reads the script, find out who the main characters are, and then kills everyone in the history of the universe except the main characters. For no reason, too. You could just be walking around and BAM! A revenge-seeking dumbass monster kills you.
Also, the fact that she's the toothfairy is hardly interesting. They took the name of something you wouldn't expect a monster to be and slapped it on the antagonist. The fact that it's based on actual urban legends and whatnot is even more depressing.
There was no logic, and the important aspect that she couldn't go in the light was not enforced throughout the movie. They ran through lit hallways to get away from her.
Also, the acting was shitty. When the guy ran into the room where the kid was about to get that weird medical scan thing and he said, "Don't let them put him in the dark," I was sure he was about to start rapping with the way he'd said it.
Exhibit C: FUCK!!!
Some people have told me that it's not actual fear that makes horror movies so great. It's really the creepy aura of them. "What do you mean by creepy?" I asked one.
To this he replied, "The type of thing that makes you grimmace and wish that you hadn't seen what you just saw."
Damn. I should have known that one. Doesn't everyone love to see things they wish they hadn't seen? I know I sure do. No.
The other thing I've noticed about horror is that people consider the following type of scene to be scary: "It's quiet. Suddenly, something loud happens. The audience is surprised."
Horror does scare me, everyone. Not because the movies themselves are scary, but because so many people percieve the dumbass genre to be frightening.
The human race is a hopeless one. I've seen it before, I'll see it again, and I sure as fuck see it now. Hopeless means it won't get better, so I've gotten used to it.
~I've given up.~
Back to further enlightenment.