What? It does!

I was just sitting around, minding my own business, chewing on my cat's hairbrush... when suddenly my jaw's grip slipped. I ended up biting my tongue off and I was bleeding all over the place and it really sucked. Now there's this nasty-asses scab on what's left of my tongue, but for some reason it doesn't show up in photos. You'd be able to see it in real life, though.

Yeah, and you know what else sucks? Stabbing a pencil into your eye. I did that a while back. I'm not quite sure what happened... One minute I was holding a pencil, the next I was stabbing myself in the eye. I was all "OW! FUCK, MY EYE!" and everoyne else was all "What the hell did you do you jackass?" and then I'm all "Dude, I stabbed myself in the eye!" and then I hit them in the face with a giant mace.

So then they're all "OW! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" and I'm all "THAT WAS ME NAILING YOU IN THE FACE WITH A GIANT MACE, BITCH!" and since they're so stupid I decide to stab them in the stomach with my toenail. But they keep bitching. By now it's getting annoying so I blow their brains out. You don't know how many good friend's I've lost like that.

Stupid people...
~Don't bite off your tongue.~

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