Okay. Anyone who doesn't have short hair is a moron and needs to be taken out and maimed. (Don't worry. I've already hired a few people. Their names are Bubba.)
Short hair is way better than long hair in every aspect possible except two things:
1) You can flip it around
2) You can curl it around and make it look weird.
Here are all the reasons that short hair is superior to long hair:
1) Long hair costs an assload more than short hair to maintain. (If you answered no to this statement, then your hair is disgusting and you still lose)
2) Short hair doesn't get caught in things nearly as much.
3) Short hair is hotter than long hair, except if your long hair falls into a candle and catches on fire because it's so goddamned long.
4) Long hair gets in your face and is fucking annoying.
5) Long hair requires more annoying maintainance. (Refer to #1's footnote)
6) For chicks, rapists tend to grab long hair and drag you into an alley to fuck you and kill you.
7) For dudes, you're either a moron or a hippie, so fucking die. Fuck.
There you have it. For all you chicks out there with long hair; whatever. It's impractical, but I guess it doesn't look weird (unless you have big hair, then you must perish). For guys; fuck you! You need to have your brains blown out and then painted onto the wall of a stall in the bathroom your high-school gym teacher used to fuck you in.
~If you have one of those hot pieces of hair dangling in front of your face (and you're a chick) then your hair can be any length you want.~
Back to further enlightenment.