My cat is gone. Forever. Wanna know why?
PEOPLE SET FIREWORKS OFF ON JULY 1ST 2003! GET A FUCKING CALENDAR! JULY 1ST IS NOT JULY 4TH!!
How could our founding fathers be so stupid? Didn't that KNOW that signing the declaration of independance mixed with the ultimate stupidity of humanity (i.e. letting their own kind handle explosives) would ultimately lead up to my cat's disappearance?!?
I mean what kind of holiday is The Fourth Of July! It doesn't even have a name, like National Blow Things Up Day, or People-Need-To-Get-Calendar-lloween, or Scare-My-Cat-Away-Forever-stmas! (Shut up about Independance Day.)
And why should you set off fireworks because we became a "free" nation? What in the fuck are fireworks supposed to symbolize about freedom? Is it like...if you explode, catch on fire and die, you'll finally be free of all the human stupidity on this earth??!
I guess that's all good and well, but that has nothing to do with our nation. Maybe it's that the fireworks are flying free and going high up in the air just like the USA is free and going high up in the countries that could kick people's asses list...but if THAT'S what the fireworks symbolize, then I guess USA is meant to eventually burn out, die, and come crashing to the ground in a charred, smoking heap.
I don't know, there's probably some real reason for it, but whatever it is, it's stupid, illogical, and should never have been concieved. Like you.
You know, if it weren't for our founding fathers, none of this would have happened. We'd all be wearing tea and crumpets, eating red coats and judge wigs, and living under harsh, strict rules which nobody could break or they would die! That's the way it should be!
Anyway, our founding fathers need to have their brains blown out; except Alexander Hamilton. He was cool and died in a gun duel, so it's almost like he already DID get his brains blown out, except it was his stomach or something.
~This article is dedicated to Flip, the cat that this country murdered in cold blood.~
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