Why are people such wimps?
Oh my god! We don't want to touch a hot door handle, so instead we'll just sit in here and let ourselves burn to death unless a big super hero fireman comes and rescues us! Whee! Oh no, look, there's smoke in the air! I'd better not run through it to the exit; I might suddenly and instantaneously die! Wow, look at that fire! If I run through it, I'll spontaneously combust and my body will explode and I'll die and fall to the ground as a flaming corpse!
What the fuck? People are such wimps that they DESERVE to have those things to happen to them. Wtf!? If you have no regard for me or my feelings and you want to live, just jump through the fucking fire. Unless you've recently been drenched in nail polish remover, there's a good chance you'll be fine!
And stop drop and roll? Yeah, lets roll around in a fire so we can get dizzy and disoriented just so we don't inhale smoke. Fuck knows what might happen if we inhaled smoke! We'd rather just roll into the fire and start blazing and screaming and rolling around on the floor, writhing in smoke-free pain and imminent death! w00t!
When I get older, I should become a fireman just for the sake of going into burning houses and blowing the brains out of anyone who is stupid enough to still be in there. What the fuck is your problem? If your house is on fire, get the fuck out! Don't sit around and wait for me--err...a fireman to come rescue you! They're here to save your insurance company, not you.
~Heed this warning.~
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