This article was shrunk for the most part because it was written terribly. So, you don't have to subject yourself to the torture of reading it...unless you like torture... However, my point is still stated sufficiently, and that point is:
-TRAVEL SUCKS!
!Tr4v3l i5 7eH 5uX0rz 5o0o mUcH 7h4t i7 Lik3 r3411y sux0rz!
What is the point in travelling? It wastes money, it puts you in the midst of a strange place with people who probably hate you anyway, there's all these diseases and freaky animals in other places, and it wastes TIME! For fuck sake, there is absolutely NO reason to travel.
So why do people travel? Because it's relaxing? If you can make yourself think flying around for eight hours to sleep in foreign lands is relaxing, then chances are you can probably make yourself think your fucking bed is relaxing.
Hmm, waste money on an airplane ticket, waste time flying around, be stuck wherever you go for days on end, be with people who want to kill you and steal your dollar...or walk two feet to your bed for free and wake up a few hours later feeling perfectly refreshed and relaxed.
FUCK! IF YOU'RE GONNA MANIPULATE YOUR BRAIN, WHY NOT DO IT FUCKING EFFICIENTLY?
I called this airport and the lady answered the phone and I was all "Hey, the lady, do you work here?" and she was all "Yes," and I said "WHY, YOU MOTHER FUCKER?" and she said "Because I get money." Well that was logical, so I asked, "Well, is there anyone in your lobby?" and she said "Yeah, some old fuck." "Be right over," I said.
So I get there and the old fuck is gone. "Damn," I said, but then I realized the place was full of people. My which-people-are-travelling-for-fun-and-which-are-going-unwillingly radar was broken, so I just killed everyone. I was so pissed, I didn't even use a gun.
Well actually, that's a lie...My radar was working perfectly fine. Tee-hee.
Finally, after the airpot lobby was a giant bloody death hole, I realized I forgot to save someone to have their brains blown out. "FUCK!" I said, so I blew my own brains out. Luckily, I was kickass enough to live through it without a scratch.
~Maybe you'll remember this next time you decide to go on vacation to Hawaii.~
Back to further enlightenment.