Canned food can solve lots of problems money can't!
Feeling sorry for those poor bums, but not wanting to give them money they will more than likely buy crack with? Tired of looking at that old, half-eaten, 12-year-old can of peaches in the back of your cupboard? Simple! Just give the peaches to the bum:
1) You feel better for helping someone.
2) Those peaches are finally haunting you no more!
3) You brought the international hobo-count down one more! Your small contribution WILL make a difference.
Sick of that bully always stealing your lunch money? Is your mom buying you those damn canned stringbeans again? Tomorrow at school, pelt the punk with the cans instead of giving up your hard-earned money!.
1) That bully will never pick on you again! (Either that or he'll just get fuckin pissed at you and beat you to shit.)
2) No more stringbeans!
3) If you aren't killed, you'll probably get sent to juvenile hall! One less retard kid walking the streets.
People pissing you off again, but you don't want to waste the money to buy a gun and mow them all down? The cabinets overflowing with that unused canned food AGAIN? Simply take a can of food, a sturdy string, wire, or even chain, and a bicycle handle (or something like it). Attach the handle and can via the string/wire/chain. You now have a fully functional mace you can use to can people's brains out!
Canned food drives getting on your nerves again? Oh wait...this is s'posed to be PRO-canned foods... Well, you can just guess what I would have said next...
Anyway, that about wraps it up. This has been another edition of MY IDEAS KICK ASS!(R)
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