There are few things I'd rather do than sit around and watch a bunch of preps show off their boring and useless skills like they're some sort of prodigy just because they can play hot cross buns on the piano.
Oh, and, isn't this TALENT SHOW supposed to SHOW TALENT? 90% of the performers suck fucking ass at whatever they're attemtping to do. No one gives a shit about some smelly-assed first grader who is so cute and sings along terribly with some random song.
Why don't you try and be talented at sitting down and shutting the fuck up? That's original enough.
Also, if people really ARE good at something, we don't want to sit around and watch them show off and make us look bad. It's like they're asking for their brains to be blown out.
Here are my suggestions to improve talent shows:
1) Skill level requirement: The kid needs to be interestingly good at whatever he does.
2) Only ONE of a kind of act; No one wants to see half the show filled up with boring piano players. Bring in the 12-ball jugglers, pogo-stickers, and flaming chainsaw eaters!
3) Everyone in the audience gets to vote on the act. If the kid gets a bad score, he dies. If he gets a good score, he only gets maimed. The killing and maiming takes place on stage, too, and is performed by the children's parents with objects selected by the audience in a poll.
I think if everyone listened to me, a talent show could really be a beautiful thing.
~Talent shows get one point for getting me out of class for a few hours.~
Back to further enlightenment.