1) Always start off by saying something along the lines of a greeting. "hi!?1/ a/s/l???///" should suffice.
2) No matter what the other person says, always act confused. "ok??/" or "w/e!!1" will work for this step.
3) After the other person responds again, suddenly become hurt and offended for no reason. "ur rude!!!11" will probably meet the standards.
4) Finally, after he lets you know how stupid and incoherent you're being, say something to the effect of "y r u allwys sooooooo mean 2 me? u dun evan knoe me!!1"
A typical conversation might appear as follows:
DevilPrincessCutie121212121: hiiiiiiii!!111 8-):-* A/Sl?1/!/1?/1
Guybobfish: 14/m/CA, you?
DevilPrincessCutie122112111: 14/f/CA! woa1 wat a coisidints!1 wat do u lik 2 do 4 fun?
Guybobfish: Well, I like to write some scripts for my website. That's probably what I do more often than not. Wanna see?
DevilPrincessCutie112222112: umm? scripts???/// ur waaaaay too smrt 4 me!
Guybobfish: Lol. It's something I use to program my website.
DevilPrincessCutie221222121: ...ok???/111/11?1!11/1
Guybobfish: Are you serious?
DevilPrincessCutie122211121: w/e!!!11111111/
Guybobfish: Ok, so we'll talk about something you understand then. What do YOU like to do for fun?
DevilPrincessCutie222121121: wat? I am not dum! u r sooooo rude!
Guybobfish: I didn't say you were dumb, I merely suggested that we talk about something that's closer to your level of perception.
DevilPrincessCutie122213121: y r u allwys soooooo mean 2 me, Guybobfish? wat did i evar do 2 u?
Guybobfish: What? You just IMed me like two minutes ago...
DevilPrincessCutie122221211: u r VERY rude!
Guybobfish: Well you are pretty stupid. What the hell is your problem?
DevilPrincessCutie122211211: OMG! u r SOOOOO mean! u dun evan knoe me!!!1 how cn u judge me?
Guybobfish signed off at 10:26:06 AM.
Now you know how to be...
A stereotypical teenage online chat chick.
~Those bitches need to have their brains blown out.~
Back to further enlightenment.