Seriously, I should have. Nobody knows how rule I would have been! I would have been kicking peasant ass all day long.
If my military went into battle with an enemy military, guess who would win...
MINE! Wanna know why?..
MINE! Err, I mean... Because my army will be weilding, bearing, and packing maces. Think about it. Armour was mostly designed to protect against sword slashes. If one of my elite mace knights went up and even hit an enemy on the hand, it would stun the fucker long enough for my knight to swing around and mace his brains out! The opposition wouldn't stand a chance.
So after I conquered everyone, and I had 117 mistresses waiting on my every need, and the whole world belonged to me, I'd spawn intra-empire conflict just for giggles and laughs. No one would ever dare defy me, and I'd use my old plan of living for 1000 years to make sure of it. I don't know why no one else ever tried that. I guess they're just morons.
I mean, my plans are perfect! My army would be macing everyone like nothing you've ever seen. They'd be the best macers in town. Eventually, my whole empire would collapse and savages would ravage the land. If anyone ever tried to attack me, though, I'd just strike them down with a great vengance. I'd be one of those middle ages wizards, you know?
And also, I'd outlaw shitty art and put all my money into my military and making sure I get all my needs and wants and vague thoughts accounted for. And I'd sentence random people to death! And I'd wear a crown and carry a staff. A staff thats shaped sort of curved, with a dullish, long point on the end that tapers on two sides.
And then, it would be the year 2007, and I wouldn't invite ANYONE on my road trip. HAH! Eat that, bitches!
~I should have been back there kicking ass.~
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