And here's that spoof I mentioned. By the way, all typos belong to aohell cuz they wouldn't let me send my writings completed through their email. So there.
Title: What If... This was a Spoof
Author: letterx
Pairing: T/7
Rating: NC17
Genre: Turbolift fetish/spoofed
Summary: After all that research Seven constantly does wouldn't you think that her next question would be, 'What if...'?
Feedback: Would you please pass the Grey..., uh, I mean feedback <said in cheesy English accent>Comments to letterx
Behind the Writing
"I don't believe you. I can't. Harry, you?! In a shuttlecraft at the academy? Oh, my god, my innocent little captain fearing image of you shall for ever be tarnished."
L: Hey, no ones going to believe that. Little Harry Kim doing the nasty back at the academy? Get real. It took poor Harry almost 4 years to be able to have his first crush and even that didn't amount to anything cuz Seven, here, shot him down.
X: Okay, who's the writer here? Thought so. You two called me in here to write you another turbolift story cuz no one else is, hoping to get another outbreak of fetish stories going, yet you're going to criticize my writing. Geez, you guys are worse then my muse is.
L: Speaking of Mojo, how is the little devil? You know, we had to pay her some big bucks just to keep bothering you to write another turbolift story. She wouldn't even take replicator rations.
X: You mean, it's all YOUR fault! I was being hounded by Mojo for weeks now to try and come up with a working idea for another turbolift story, and it's all because of YOU!
S: Lanna dear, that 'was' suppose to be a secret.
L: Oops. Anyway, you're here now, and what's done is done, so let's get back to writing.
X: Argh!
"Tom, shut up. Geez you act like you haven't done it in wild places before. I bet that when you and Lanna were together you two did it everywhere, in engineering, on a shuttlecraft, docked and flying, in the holodeck, in the messhall, hell even on a turbolift."
L: Don't go there, please don't go there.
"Actually, Harry, yes to the first three but no on the last two, nor on the bridge, nor in the conference room or even in the captain's ready room, something we really wanted to do but never found the right moment."
L: Oh, she went there.
S: letterx...
L: Uhoh, Seven's using the full name, watch out next is assimilation.
S: As I was saying, letterx, I had thought we had come to an understanding.
X: We did, but trust me guys, this is just build up, you know story plot and such. The story will definitely improve soon.
S: Alright, I shall trust you for now, but keep in mind, this is a turbolift story, plot is not necessary.
X: Right, now where was I? Oh yes...
"Hehe, the ready room? My god, if Janeway would have found out..."
"I know, that's what made it so appealing, the danger of getting caught, the excitement of possibly getting away with something you're not suppose to be doing." <sigh> "But we wanted to start off slow in our, um, 'encounters' so we started off in Lanna's office, then the holodeck, and then the shuttlecraft, but we were making our way up to the bridge, eventually. Unfortunately, time ran out for us and even though I'm single now, I doubt anyone else would be willing or daring enough to try some of the places I have yet to 'christen'. Lanna, at times, was even more daring then me. God how I miss those days."
L: Yeah well, you're the only one bub. At least we're broken up, I would have hated to see what Seven would have done to you otherwise.
X: <clears throat> Yeah well...
"Yeah, well..."
"Captain Janeway to Lt. Paris."
L: Ah, saved by the proverbial bell. Nicely done. Now we can get off of this Tom and me thing cuz it never happened. Damn Paramount.
X: Hehe, Damn Yahoo and aohell.
S&L: Huh?
X: Oh, sorry that was yesterday's damning word. Moving right along.
"Paris here, ma'am."
"Report to the bridge, I have something I'd like you to go over with me. Oh and bring Harry with you, he can help."
"Yes, ma'am, we're on our way now."
"Good, Janeway out."
L: Hehe, take away that comma and it creates a whole new spin on the Janeway vs Janey complex we see in fanfic. I suppose you'll be making Janeway a good guy in this? <evil glare>
X: <hiding behind Seven> Um, of course, no Janey interference in this one. S: <laughs>
L: What's so funny sweetie?
S: I believe I laughed because X touched me.
X: Hey, Seven's ticklish, cool. <catches the murderous look in Lanna's eyes> Oh shit.
"Well, chat time is over I suppose."
"Yeah, I guess your right, Tom, but I just want to leave you with one thought, Janeway might be daring enough."
L: Oh my god, please tell me I did not just see what she just typed up. Yuck! How could you write something like that?
S: Perhaps X is still not thinking properly after the bump on her head you gave her.
L: Yeah, well, she's just lucky she's still alive.
X: Woah. <sounding awfully like Keanu Reeves>
"Ewwwwwwwww, the Captain?! I say again, Ewwwwwwwww. Bad thoughts, oh god even worse images, I'll get you for this Harry."
As the two men stepped out of the corridor they were in and into the turbolift, Seven stepped around from the corner she had been 'leaning' cough hiding cough against.
S: I was not hiding. I was merely standing there politely waiting for those two gentleman to finish their conversation and leave. Now delete that.
X: No! and you were eves dropping. And would you two stop interrupting my writing here. God no wonder I can't get any writing done lately.
S: But...
X: Shush.
S: I...
X: Quiet.
S: But...
X: Shush your mouth.
S:...
X: I got whole bag of shush with your name on it.
L: Although, this is not at all cute, can we please get back to the story. I am still waiting to see when this story gets better.
"Interesting. I believe that I have missed a sub-subject when previously researching human sexual behavior. Why would it be a 'turn on' for partners to copulate in a place in which there is a high risk of getting caught? I believe that more research is required."
And so Seven being the curious ex-Borg that she is, decided that she could forego the rest of her boring shift in Astrometrics to study such a phenomenon.
S: Borg are not curious.
X: Shush.
S: Just saying.
X: Shush.
S: <Opens mouth, thinks better, then humphs>
____________________________
Some time later, after extensive and exhaustive research was completed on what Seven now deemed the turbolift fetish, she now understood such an appeal, mentally, but still had no idea what it felt like, to feel the rush of adrenaline, the blood pumping furiously inside your veins due to the excitement, what it felt like to be so aroused, to be so turned on that your heart wasn't the only body part to be pounding. Seven wanted to know 'of' such an appeal, not just understand it. But the only way to do that would be to experience it, but... What if... Seven was anything if not decisive and when she figured out what she wanted, she knew she had to have it. It was rather all just a matter of planning now.
S: <rubs her hands gleefully>
X: <gets ready to shush Seven>
S: Hey, I didn't say anything this time.
X: <raises eyebrow>
S: Humph.
____________________________
Two days later...
L: And we still haven't done it yet?
X: Ouch!
L: Get a move on woman.
"God damn, mother fucking, piece of shitten, warp core breaches. Noooo, nothing can ever be quiet around here for too long. Nooooo, when space is quiet, we just have to have an emergency warp core breach for no god damned apparent reason. Damn sensitive engines, you pay them no mind or a few days and this is what happens. Anything to get my attention. Ha! Now that I'm actually heading home for the first time in over 48 hours, wanna bet that something will happen to prevent me from reaching home?"
"I believe I shall take you up on that bet, Lt."
"Seven, oh shit, you scared me. Don't do that again."
L: Hey, how many times can I possibly curse in the course of a minute.
S: 109 times.
L: That was a rhetorical question.
S: Oh.
"I shall endeavor to 'try' not to do that again." Seven smirked at the smaller woman, only this time Lanna suddenly had the feeling that the smirk was more playful then condescending.
"And hey, what do you mean you'll take me up on that bet? I thought borg don't bet."
"'Wanna bet?'" And as the two women walked into the turbolift together, Lanna couldn't help but laugh at the subtle humor.
L: Hey that was actually kinda funny.
X: Thanks.
L: So I take it we're getting to the good stuff?
X: Yep, but we'd get there a lot quicker if you'd stop interrupting so much.
"Sure Seven, let's bet, I'll bet you that I never make it off this turbolift before Carey calls me to tell me that something or other is malfunctioning. Today is definitely not my day."
S: But it shall end a lot better then when it started.
L: Amen to that.
"Agreed, and I shall bet you that you will make it off this turbolift and at least to the door of your quarters before 'something or other' malfunctions. What shall we bet on?"
"Hmm, well, I think I wouldn't mind having some extra replicator rations in my pocket for this week, say if I win, you give me 25 of your replicator rations?"
"I do not agree."
"What? 25, too steep for you, queen of collecting rations and holodeck time?"
"Not at all, however, if I were to win I would not want to receive rations in return, nor would I want any holodeck time. I believe we should bet with something of equal value and something that can be exchanged right away, so that no one else would be privy to our bet."
S: Hmm, why do I get the feeling that I'm leading up to something?
X: Probably cuz you are. Now keep reading.
"Right away? What's the matter, afraid of getting caught and reprimanded by the Captain?"
"On the contrary, I am afraid of getting caught but rather because I have an 'image' to maintain." <smirk>
<smile> "Seven, you are too much. Okay, so we exchange right away, but wait, all I have are the clothes on my back and I'm assuming the same for you unless you got some hidden compartment in that suit of your's. Hehe, perhaps you could actually do with borrowing one of my bras."
L: Nope, no bra needed, just fine without one. Damn fine.
"And you could do with borrowing my... heels." <smirk>
"Seven, you're crazy. Computer, deck 3. Okay if I win, you have to wear one of my bras for a week and if you win, I'll wear you're heels for a week. And if anyone asks, we're just experimenting with new things. Okay?"
"'Deal'"
"You are so gonna lose."
S: I believe those are considered famous last words.
X: Not this time. <smiling>
<Erreck, bang, errrr, squeek, sqirrrrreee>
"Aw shit."
"I believe you were correct, Lieutenant."
"Shut up Seven."
"I thought you wished to win your bet?"
"Yeah but... Argh! Damn it. Seven you call it in cuz if I do, I'm gonna end up screaming at Carey, again." Lanna slumped down to the floor and leaned against the wall while Seven called in the malfunction to engineering. "I wanted to go home too."
L: With you.
X: Hey stop typing, get your grubby fingers off my keyboard. This is my story. <deletes 'with you'.>
Several minutes of silent brooding went by until Seven finally broke it.
"Lt, may I have your bra now?"
"What?!"
"The bet, you won, I must now wear your bra for a week."
S: Yes, you must strip and while you're at it I would like your panties as well.
L: But Seven you can't fit into them.
S: I never said I wanted to wear them.
X: Are you guys done yet.
L: Quite so.
S: Cheerio.
X&L: Huh?
S: I believe I heard Ensign Rachel say that once.
X: Right.
"Right, but you want it right now? I mean we are in a turbolift, we can go to my quarters after we get out and I can change and then give you a clean one."
"That one will suffice, and it would be a waste of resources such as time to go to your quarters when we are sitting here doing nothing. I will 'hold up' my end of the bet."
"Was that a pun Seven?"
S: Yes, was I good?
L: Always. <growls>
"Are you shy or embarrassed, Lieutenant?"
"No fair turning the conversation back to me. Fine, you wanted it you got." Lanna stood up quickly and threw off her jacket and standard issue Starfleet tank top, now left standing there in her black lace bra. "Um, Seven could you please turn around?"
L: Hey, why do I always end up in a black lace bra?
X: For the same reason you always end up with Seven, both just look good on you.
S: Nice answer.
X: I know, thanks.
"Why?"
"Just do it, damn it." And so Seven stood up and turned around, her back facing the now half naked half Klingon. But Lanna wasn't expecting Seven to begin striping either once she stood up as well. Though it was pretty obvious that if Seven was going to wear a bra under her biosuit she would have to put it on. Lanna suddenly got a good view of a strong, well muscled, alabaster colored back, marred only with a few scars and metal bands encircling the taller woman's rib cage. Mesmerized, she couldn't help herself, when she reached out and lightly ran her finger tips over the surprisingly warm metal. Seven flinched at the sudden, unexpected touch, but didn't move far since Lanna had wrapped her other arm around Seven's waste holding her in place.
"It's beautiful, Seven. You know, I thought that I would be repulsed by seeing human flesh embedded with metal implants but... I'm not. On you, it just... fits. It's not obtrusive but rather soft looking, and it's warm, I thought it would have ended up being cold and hard."
"To have implants that are cold and hard would be inefficient. And the Borg are anything but inefficient."
"Indeed." Lanna mimicked Seven's phrase and then sort of snapped out of her spell, handing Seven the bra over her shoulder. Except, when she went to move back, this time Seven stopped her keeping the darker woman's hand flat on her hip.
"How do you put on such a device?"
"Here, give it back and I'll show you." No words were used as Lanna simply showed the blonde how to put on a bra but somewhere along the line things slowed down, movements became more sensual and free- flowing. A hand grazed the underside of a breast, a gasp was heard, breathing suddenly became very shallow and quick.
"B'Elanna? Have you ever heard of the turbolift fetish?"
"What?" Lanna had to ask, trying to think past the haze of desire she suddenly found herself in.
"Making love in a turbolift. Have you ever done it?" Suddenly Seven didn't sound like the inhumane borg drone, Lanna once thought her to be, and the quiet whispered words only served to further excite her, nearly throwing her over the edge just thinking about making love in such a public place, with Carey already on his way to fix the lift. There was a strong chance of getting caught and it nearly made Lanna cum right then and there.
"No. Have you?"
"No." Seven turned around still inside Lanna's arms and brought her lips just a hairs breath away from Lanna's. "Will you show me?"
"Yes." That one whispered word was all the incentive Seven needed to bring her lips that inch closer and connect with Lanna's. The first kiss was sweet and sensual but soon gave way to the passions that were bubbling so close to the top in each woman. Lanna brought her hand up and around Seven's neck, pulling her even closer, mashing their breasts together, rubbing already hard nipples against each other, causing Seven to groan out in pure delight, thereby opening her mouth and allowing Lanna's tongue entrance.
And soon, Seven's tongue was repaying the favor, exploring Lanna's mouth as she had just done to her. But soon that was not enough, she wanted to feel, to explore more. Hands began to roam, coming up and grabbing hold of Lanna's ass, squeezing, and then hoisting the smaller woman up and onto her hips. B'Elanna moaned and began to rock against the woman holding her, bringing her hands down from Seven's neck and encircling the most perfect breasts she had ever seen. First squeezing them as Seven had done to her ass, and then pinching the buds, pulling on them, bringing out even more moans of pleasure from Seven until Seven couldn't stand it any more. The ex- drone back up against the wall closest to her, crashing into it and trying her best to support herself and the woman in her arms on wobbly legs. Seven's head tilted back in pleasure and pain once she hit the wall, and Lanna took that opportunity to bring her mouth down, following the path her hands had taken previously until her tongue now encircled the taut buds.
Seven now kept up a constant rocking against the woman in her arms but still she ached for more. Sliding down the wall, Seven ended up sitting on the floor with Lanna in her lap, panting and so aroused that Lanna could now see the wet spot staining Seven's blue biosuit. So B'Elanna eased out of the borg's arms and helped her to pull down the rest of her biosuit, taking her heels right off with it. But when Seven was about to return the favor, Lanna pushed her shoulders back and settled down on the floor between Seven's legs. Slowly she stuck out her tongue, tasting the blonde for the first time and finding the taste salty, yet sweet, and very much to her liking. Running her tongue back up and down the now swollen lips, Lanna nearly brought Seven over the edge, but she had more she wanted the younger woman to experience. Taking one finger, she lubricated it with Seven's more then abundant juices and slowly began to insert it into Seven fairly tight hole. But once stretched enough, she began to pump in and out of Seven matching the speed Seven was setting with the rocking of her hips. Knowing that Seven was real close now, Lanna added her tongue back to the mix and teased her nub, peaking out of it's hood. It didn't take much after that to set Seven over the edge and as a scream ripped out of Seven's throat, possibly alerting others near the turbolift to what was going on inside, it also brought Lanna over the edge, climaxing a few seconds after Seven did.
Both women very exhausted, and very satiated, they still some how managed to get dressed in a hurry after Seven had heard Carey's voice saying 'bring the lift back online'. A few minutes later, two dressed women came flying out of the now working turbolift, one oddly wearing blue sparkled heals with a Starfleet uniform and one oddly wearing a bra underneath a biosuit. Neither stopping to say thanks, nor stopping to file any sort of report.
Both women made it to Torres's quarters in record time hoping that no one really saw the evidence of what had just happened.
"Shower?"
"Indeed, I shall wait for you to go first."
"No together."
"There is a shower fetish as well? I did not know. I had only planned for the turbolift."
"You planned the turbolift?! YOU sabotaged lift?! On purpose?! YOU set me up?! Damn that was better then Tom's usual 'plans'. Now, let me show you the shower."
X: Huh, that's odd, not a peep out of the two of you for several paragraphs. What happened. <turns around to see Seven and Lanna going at it on the floor> Woah, I shouldn't look <covers eyes with hand> Aw, who the hell am I kidding, shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, did it anyway.
The End! I hope.
Hope you enjoyed my craziness. This little spoof off of my own story is dedicated to HW cuz he wanted two turbolift stories and here they are, though I sorta cheated my way out of the second one. :)
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