McDonalds Employees Officially Stupid

A revealing new study undertaken by Professor Chokesondich of Frankfurt has today reaffirmed something most people have known for quite some time, that McDonald's employees are essentially less intelligent than the dead meat on sale in the fast food outlets.

The study took into account basic skills expected of most normal people. These included the ability to speak, to remember 2 or 3 basic facts which comprise the average order, to work simple electronic devices (such as a till), basic math's skills and recognition ability such as bright colours which distinguish the various products on offer.

The test took place in the Newport Road branch of the store, lasting approximately 2 months. Various members of the public volunteered to aid the study by purchasing various meals from the store at different times of the day, Rhodri Morgan volunteered much time and effort buying over 2000 meals. 

The results of the test were what most people had already generally concluded. McDonalds employees are nothing short of mentally retarded. During the course of the study many observations such as 'subject is unable to read or count' and 'subject picks nose then hands meal' frequently appeared as well as other noteworthy comments such as 'subject unable to operate checkout, waited approximately 30 minutes for WRONG meal' and the classic 'subject appears to be a strategically shaved chimpanzee in a uniform'

Many of us have for a long time known that these people are a sub-breed of homosapiens and that it is a wonder they remember to breathe or to wake up in the mornings. On a personal note it has not escaped this writers attention that during busy periods they seem as equally inept as that late night stop for a simple cheeseburger. 

Put plain and simply - they are thick as F*%$ !

A spokeswoman for McDonalds said "ummm i thinks like we gots the bestest staff in the whole wide world and that we's the best" she was then taken away to receive her medication. A member of restaurant staff added "would you like fries with that?" but was then unable to work out how to cook them so it was not to be.