For all the masses of people who are just dying to know the story behind this bold and handsome up-and-comer in the world of newspaper collecting - my name is Michael, I'm 23 years old and yes ladies, I am avalible - but only for a limited time offer, so call now, operaters are standing by...
I know that some of you may be a little intimated by all glamor and hype that surronds celebrities like me in the newspaper collecting world. And you know what, that sense of awe you're feeling right now - it's completely natural and justified. But I do assure you, that in my everyday life, I'm just a regular, completely normal guy like... Einstein or Napolean, for instance, or... the Beatles when they said they were bigger than Jesus. Yes, truly, at heart, I'm just a regular, everyday, Alexander the Great.
My Law School experience so far has taught me that I have an uncanny X-man ability to read boring, boring, boring class material for hours and hours on end, and still have the self-control to keep from going on wild killing sprees afterward. (Wild maiming sprees are allowed and done frequently).
"What kind of law are you studying?" you ask. Good question. I don't know the exact name of the field, but its the one where you apply non-sensical logic to a biased code of statutes in an attempt to create an illusion of justice that favors your side and earns you money. I hope that narrows it down.
That being said, if you too are a gigantic dork and feel the need to define yourself by categorizing newspapers, suger packets, airline barf bags or whatever, feel free to drop me a line and maybe with enough support we can get ourselves a group rate on a therapy session. That is, unless you are one of those people who walk around with holes in their socks. You just can't trust those people. Because, you know, if they are capable of that, they are capable of anything.
Citizen Mike
