Hey baby; my dick is like a limo: it stretches
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic... only 200 women went down on the Titanic
I want to hug you, but a hug leads to a lick; a lick leads to a kiss; a kiss leads to a suck; a suck leads to a fuck; so shall I hug you or not?
You know, I never was to good at math...like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
Do you like wine gums? [Yes] Then why ain't your gums around my plums?
Okay, let's be fair here. You choose which hole and I choose what to do with it.
I'm going to have sex with you tonight. You might as well be there for it.
I've got a gun in my trousers if you lend me those two bullets you have in your bra I'll shoot my load all over you!
You would look great with 11 more stone on you. Hey, I'm 11 stone!
Do you need a ride? I'll give you a ride and then I'll take you home.
Is it true things go stiff when they die? Yes! Hell, put your hand down my trousers, I think I'm dying!
Put your lip on my zip.
Do you want to see something swell?
Wanna play Pearl Harbor? That's where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me.
Hey let's go shag and do the talking later.
'Legs' is the word of the day; lets go outside and spread the word !
Have you ever been to the moon? No? Sit on my rocket and I will take you there, baby.
Was your father a cement layer? Because you're making me hard.
I'm not Jesus, but the size of my cock is a miracle.
That shirt is very becoming of you, of course, if I were that shirt I would be coming on you too.
If we were squirrels could I bust a nut in your hole?
My name is Pinocchio, sit on my face and I'll tell you a lie.
It's not gonna suck itself!
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!
I'm a taxidermist. I stuff beaver and pussy.
I'm a pilot. Can I see your cockpit?
Fingers or toys?
You're ugly, but you interest me.
If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning.
Hi my name's Big Dave, and I'm mighty tall as well.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch!
Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist...
How's the cock in your life? Do you want some?
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
Your ass is as firm as a basketball. Mind if I dribble on it?
I like math's. You want to go to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?
If you think I'm fat now just wait until I've eaten you!
I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.
You're ugly, but in an erotic kinda way.
Do you like beef? Well suck this, it's dripping.
You like to chew gum? Cop hold of this - it's wriggly.
Treat me like a tent and put me up for the night.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
Hey babe, nice legs, what time do they open?
Hi, I'm a hurdle, wanna jump me?
I'm gonna name one of your legs Christmas and the other one New Year's Day. Can I visit between the holidays?
You're so gorgeous I want every bone in you body, including mine.
Fuck me if I'm wrong but you want to sleep with me...
You remind me of a spanner! [Why?] Because everytime I see you my nuts tighten.
Inheriting eighty million quid doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
I have a twelve inch tongue and can breathe through my ears.
Your arse is like a basketball, mind if I dribble all over it?
I like your tits, can I touch them?
I've got the body of a chippendale,.... he's buried under the patio at home.
You wanna get jiggy with Mr. Biggy?
Mount willy's about to erupt baby!
Wanna come back to my house and do some Maths? You can subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we'll multiply.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Are those real?
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Excuse me, I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way to your heart.
Do you like jewelry? Suck this, it's a gem!
Can you drive? Well, back onto this (pointing to dick)
Do you like dried biscuits? Eat this it's a cracker!
Do you spit or swallow?
Lets stand toe to toe and get something straight between us!
Wanna sit down? Here let me clear off a spot for you to sit. (while wiping of your mouth with your hand)
Let's play war, I'll lay down and you blow the fuck out of me!
Have you ever been kissed on the navel? Yes! From the inside?
Nice tit's what's your name?
Hi there, do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise cocks!!
Do you want to fuck or do I owe you an apology?
Excuse me, you have the whitest teeth I've ever cum across.
Do you need a gardener? (no) can I trim your bush anyways?
How's yer fanny for cracking walnuts?
Excuse me but do you believe in pre-marital sex? No. Well I'm married, lets Fuck!
You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your
belly-button.
If you were a car door I would slam you all night long
Over here, now, bitch
If your left is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays?
I'm like Domino's Pizza, if you don't come in 30 minutes the next one is free...
Fancy a Pizza and a shag? NO! Why, don't you like Pizza?
To a ugly woman...''I never look at the mantle piece when I'm poking the fire''
Want to see my boner?
My hands are cold, can I put them in your bra to warm up?
Can you fix watches? Then put 2 hands on that!
Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight.
Do you like fruit? Suck this its a fucking peach.
Was you father a cement mixer? Because you sure make me hard.
Your eyes are like spanners..... every time you look at me my nuts tighten
I'm easy. Are you?
Put your crash helmet on, you're going through the head board.
Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?
My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.