| December Poetry |
| 12-1-01 Slowly, I'm seeing my strength. 12-1-01 have depression, and I'm fighting it! 12-1-01 I'm strong, yet I'm weak, I have a voice, yet I cannot speak. 12-1-01 Just moments ago, I said "I hate life I''m sick of this pain, this isolation. But thats wrong, for I'm not living in life, I am in nothingness. Oh how I hate that dark den of isolation, but I love life! I have a passion for it, and each day, and each night, I reach out to make happiness mine. I long to truly know what, life is like, so I can truly and completely say, I love it. I hate nothingness... 12-2-01 Child, keep this in mind, as you step into the world, you will come to know, that it's not as easy as it seems, living your dreams. But child, don't give up, don't be scared, and don't be shy, don't be afraid to try, don't let yourself die, you must always stay in the fight, for one day, you will wake up, and everything will fall into place so child, remember this, always try, and you will not fall from grace, in the end, you will stand tall, with them all, child,when you know and apply all this, you will no longer be a child... 12-2-01 The world is harsh, the world is cruel, I would be a fool, to think otherwise, I know the world is wide, its never too late to try, but the sooner you join the fight, for life, the sooner you can reach out for life, and truly be able to say, "My life is mine, I'm handling it just fine." 12-2-01 My strength, I hope I will, always carry it, with me, throughout my life... 12-2-01 Warmth, love, depth, understanding, I long for... 12-2-01 I don't wanna be a go-between, I don't wanna be stuck in the middle, Ii don't wanna be on the outside, looking it, not knowing, when there will be peace, in my sweet little... Broken home!!! 12-3-01 I am stressed out, that is true, I look into your eyes, and I see you, yet I'm not sure, who you is... 12-3-01 I am stressed out, yet I am willing to run through the storm, for my own damn good... 12-3-01 My broken soul, oh my broken soul! I hurt so bad inside, My tears I cannot hide. I'm sad. I'm alone, oh my broekn soul, it hurts so bad, don;t ya know, oh my broken soul! 12-3-01 Today, Ii will make a promise to myself, I promise that could change everything, if that promise is kept. I promise to love myself, no matter what. I promise to get rid of, this demon called depression, I swear to dry my tears, as I ease myself of my deepest fears, Ii promise to myself, that I will survive. 12-3-01 My brother, you're my blood, I love you so much. My brother, I feel a bond with you. I look at you, I see you fighting tears, as you're misunderstood, by the person who is supposed to understand you, I look into your eyes, and I see my deepest fears, I nod and let you know, that I understand, I feel you, and I want you to know, you're fears are real, you're fears are true, for I feel them too... 12-3-01 I hear you, screaming, screaming, screaming, and I feel the pain... A Melody 12-3-01 I have a dream, I have a dream, my dream is to sing, I have a dream, I have a dream, my dream is to sing. To sing away my sorrow, to look to 'morrow, when I can see my smiling face. I have a dream, I have a dream, My dream is to sing, I have a dream, I have a dream, my dream is to sing. As my heart bleeds, I think to myself, something everything will be alright, someday I will win the fight, (Oh yeah) someday I will look in mirror tears disolved, my smile so bright, yea I will win the fight, with the help of my soulful melodies, (soft melodies soothing my soul) oh yea I have a dream, my dream is to sing... Little Brother 12-6-01 Oh my youngest brother, at such a tender age, I want you to know, that I love you so. My little brother, it saddens me to know, to feel, the hurt you must feel inside. My little brother, at such an innocent age, you are torn between, your mother and father. My little brother, at such a tender age, I wish with every ounce of me, that you, that we, didn't have to live in a broken home! My brother, I hope with every ounce of me, that you will grow up happy. My brother, I live you... 12-6-01 My feelings are real, my feelings are true, I used to look to you, in hopes, that you would feel them too, but deep down, I knew that you simple, have no hope, of finding truth on me,father! Oh how I wish, you could, know just how much is going on inside, oh hopw I wish I could know you, really know you, but the sad thing is, I can't break through your brick wall, so now I gueess, I'm on my own, reality hurts, I just wish you could be my hiding place, but you can't, you are what I hide from, and that makes me feel lost... Strength 12-7-01 Longing for strength, that I can forever keep. Strength, that will bless me, with peace of mind, as I weep. Strength, that will help me survive, in this cruel world. Strength, that will allow me to stay sane. Strength, that will not allow me, to walk away, from love, when it is my \time to share it, with another strong soul, who is not afraid to embrace love.. Strength, that allows me, to feel free, to be me, and accept me, despite my flaws. Strngth, my strength, I will always hold onto it. Written Word 12-6-01 My written word, is the voice, that cannot be heard. My written word, is my way, of bringing my beauty to light. My written word, is my strength, my written word, is my way of getting over the hurt. My written word, is my way, of sernarding the world, with melidious songs of the heart. My written word is.. ME beautiful,sweet,and lovely, ME! 12-6-01 Feelings trapped inside, insercuites sting, oh how I long for the day, when my heart will sing, when I can be free, unique and lovely, as I'm meant to be. When I can truly get rid, of the feeling, of being ugly within, when I can embrace beauty of soul. Oh how I long for the day, when tears of happiness, will flow, when tears of pain, are cast away, when my feelings, will no longer be cast astray. when I can honesty say, "I'm me and I'm okay." 12-6-01 Its gonna be okay, (yeah) its gonna be okay, looks like things just might, go my way, yea its gonna be okay, cuz I'm a survivor... 12-5-01 Living around your sickness... Hello Parents 12-5-01 Hello parents with your, twisted realities, I beg of you please, don't drag us kids, into your pit of insanity, please let us live, and be free, mother and father, please, love me for me... 12-5-01 Sad eyes, filed with depth, resurrected from their death... 12-5-01 I long for freedom, I long to set my heart free, from this heartache, this misery. I long to breathe, thankfully, and climb to a higher level, and be free forever... 12-6-01 "I CAN" I say "What if you can't." you say. CAN"T,CAN"T,CAN"T! Your words echo in my ears, and I wonder, if its too much to ask, to just have faith in me... 12-6-01 Father, I cannot trust you, just knowing that, leaves me with an uncomfortable feeling, in the pit of my stomach... Child of Darkness 12-5-01 I am a child of darkness, reaching out for the light, striving to make it mine. Longing for something real, something I can touch and feel, something to help me heal. I am floating in a blanket of midnight, surrounded by nothingness, lost without a clue, searching for love, craving something true... 12-5-01 You didn't see me cry, you didn't reach out for me, as my soul started to die, you didn't hug me, when my eyes went dry. You didn't shower me with love, mother! and now you ask me, what is wrong, and I have no words to express, just how much damage you have done, all I can do, is hang on, and force myself to be strong, and hope that this pain, is not life long. |
| 12-2-01 I have a dream, my dream is to write, to chase pain, out of sight, wo bring my beauty to light, with my soulful expressions... 12-3-01 My brother, I love you, oh so very much. Sure we've had our ups and downs, but I always miss you, when your not around. when I look at you, we connect. Knowing you my whole life, I feel now, that I know you more than ever. It flls me with pride, cuz of who you have become, you're unique, you're you... (yeah) and my best advice to you, is always, to thine self be true, even though some may belittle you. My brother, you will always, be all you can be. My brother, you will always mean the world to me 12-3-01 Trying despartly, to hold onto my power, trying not to cower, or give up, trying to hold onto my strength, and keep my soul alive... 12-4-01 Sad World The world, we live in today, is sad. Too many tears, not enough smiles. The world, we live in, is sad. Too much hate,misunderstanding,and mistrust, not enough love,understanding,and trust. The world, we live in, is sad. It brings tears to my eyes, knowing that some people, have to ask, "Just what is love?" The world, we live in, is sad. Humanity, it lives in a small, handful of us, hate consumes the rest. The world, we live in, is sad. 12-3-01 Yesterday, you bruised my face, it wasn't the first time, you caused me to fall from grace, to fall into that ugly place. After that last burn, I went through a grieving period, I swore I wouldn't forgive you, but something in me, caused me to love you anyways. Mother, I really wish, that you could have mercy on my dying soul, I wish you knew, just what it is like, to be me. To fight, to cry every night, to forgive you, evfen though, the pain is greater, tahn anything, I have ever exiperenced, to get burnt countless times, but to forgive,and forgive,and forgive... Mother, I live with the hurt, every day, that hurt from yesterday, but nevertheless, I will always forgive, but I will still hurt, jsut the same... 12-5-01 Everything will be alright,hun, you will not lose the fight, for you are not fighting alone, we are fighting together, everythiing is going to be alright, no longer will you hurt, everything is gonna be alright, together we shall fight, everything is gonna be alright. 12-5-01 My friend, I just wanted you to know, that I can't let you bleed like this, it isn't right, and it isn't fair, that the person, who is hurting yiu, simply doesn't care, I wanted to let you know, that you don't deserve to bleed like this... 12-5-01 I'm scared, my life is ahead of me, I have a responsibilty, I'm vunerable right now, and I'm not sure, what I'm going to do, I wish I could think it through, but I'm rushed, I must act now, and hope that, everything turns out okay... 12-6-01 An exiperence so emotional, so vauable,and pure, the exiperence, of pouring out my heart and soul, the only one, who truly knows, just what lies, deep within my soul... 12-6-01 I don't want to be stumbled anymore, nor do I wish to stumble. I hope to be surrounded, by the humble, I long to humble myself.... 12-6-01 I hope to rid myself, of this pain, this weakness, this stress, I long to let other depressed souls, know that I truly know, just what it is like, to be showered in grief, sadness, low self esteem, to be shattered by dreams, that fail to come true, to have a voice inside, deep within you, that screams to be heard, but no one hears, and it fades to a whisper... See depressed soul, I have truly exiperenced, death of soul. and I want you to know, that there is hope, you will be made alive, if you let yourself cry, pour out your soul, and continue to pour out, your deepest darkest feelings, to the one who knows, just how to show love, just how to let you know, that you do deserve thee, that you are worthy, you do deserve to be happy, you are beautiful, and you will not hurt forever! Yes, you shall be enlightened, if you hold onto your emotions, never let them go, Pray to God, let your feelings flow, scream out loud, beg for mercy, and you shall recieve, yes it is true depressef soul, it's okay to grieve, you do need, you will recieve, you will be happy, oh depressed soul, you are loved, by the one from above... 12-6-01 Almighty God, I've always known this, and I always will know this, you are the greatest artist alive, for you created life. You are the most loving father, there ever was. You let your children know, just what is is, to love, and you show it back, you listen to their cries, and you wipe them away. You listen beyond a level, that a mere human is capable of, you are capable of all things. You can explain, the unexplainable, you can think the unthinkable, you are above any level, that us humans could rise to, you need not rise, for you have always been above, level one, you are the only one, you truly defines complex beauty. Oh creater, I am just a mere human, who foten feels, unworthy of your love, one day my I, truly not be afraid to, embrace your truth! 12-6-01 Almighty God, you are here, you know, what I feel, and its not so bad at all... 12-6-01 We come from seperate worlds, but I want you to know, if you talked to me, you would be heard... 12-6-01 Tender age, oh such tender years, delicate fears, salty tears... 12-6-01 Broken home! broekn home! broken home! Will I always feel alone, living in this, broken home? 12-6-01 I have a power within, something deep within me, a strong voice, lettinf me know, that I have a choice... Alone 12-6-01 I sit alone, I dance alone, I live alone, I sing alone, I write alone, I fight alone, and I shall die... alone! 12-6-01 All my life, I've always been alone, lost without a home. 12-6-01 Life is wearing me down, I'm so scared, for I fear, I will fail! Isolation's Game 12-30-01 You hide in a box, as you sit and stare, longing to care, about someone, about something. sick and tired of nothing. feeling so many things, forced to bottle them inside, for your mind is your only companion, everything is fabricated. Screaming into the darkness, crying empty tears, as you grow numb, then you sit and stare, and wish despartly, that you could break the lock, and escape from insanity's box. 12-7-01 The answers live deep, within my soul. No! You cannot tell me they don't! For it is a feeling so strong, that I know exactly, whats goin on... 12-7-01 Am I crazy? Am I sane? Why do I feel emotions, that i cannot explain? The Mind 12-7-01 The mind is a complicated tool. The mind can fool ya, to believe, that you are a fool. The can can be unkind, peace of mind, can be far from sight. The mind can hold you back, from making the light, your own. Peace 12-7-01 There is a peace, that lies within us all, preventing our fall, or at least heal the wound. There is a strength, that we all posess, that prevents us, from dirfting into rest. Let it be your friend, for if you embrace your peace, life will be a peice of cake... 12-7-01 You bruise my face. you cause me to fall from grace, why do I forgive you so easily? why? 12-7-01 Shaken up, shaken up, longingly reaching out for love... 12-7-01 I long to conquer that evil villian, called loneliness... 12-7-01 I hurt, I hurt, and I continue to hurt... 12-7-01 Everything that I feel, like I must prove, causes me to fall back, and stand still in time! 12-7-01 Peice of mind, a state which is kind, peace of mind, I will keep it with me, 'till the end of time... 12-7-01 I long to break free, from this fence! 12-7-01 Hey,hey,hey, will I forever pay, for casting my emotions astray? 12-7-01 Father, I wish you could understand the me, if you could, maybe I would understand the you. 12-7-01 My life is not my own, I am lost without a home. 12-7-01 Roaming in my mind, far,far away, from this world unkind, roaming to a place, where I may find, peice of mind,,, Crazy State 12-7-01 My poetry feels crazy, my thoughts seem crazy, my simeple existance feels crazy, for I have been raised, with the strong belief that Ii am crazy, but I strongly believe, that is so far from the truth, oh how I wish, it wasn't too much to ask, for a normal youth! 12-1-0-01 Devestaed, for you simply don't understand, you are miles away... 12-9-01 I am no one, I am nothing, I am empty, I am nothing! 12-9-01 I am closed in, my reality is disorted... 12-11-01 Just when will I, have the courage, to be me, undisguised? |