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| Courtesy of Iliriapress |
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| Anton Zako �ajupi |
| Faqja Page 12 |
| Zeneli: But he is fine. A newspaper as well-known as �Lirija� must be prepared for any eventuality, for anything that might occur so we are never caught empty-handed, so to speak. What would happen tonight, for instance, if in the middle of the night, we should receive a telegram saying that Haxhi Aliu had dinner, and then choked on it and died? The editor-in-chief of �Lirija� has no time to start investigating where the gentleman was born, who his parents were, and what he accomplished or did not accomplish during his lifetime. For this very reason, Sk�ndo Bey prepares the texts in advance. Haxhi Aliu can die in peace and tranquility whenever he wants. Our newspaper is ready for him anytime. Adham-Uti (glancing at the text): Ha, ha! Haxhi Aliu would certainly be pleased at such a flattering obituary. Tell me, Zeneli, how many days ago was this text written? Zeneli: Oh, quite a while ago, milord. The editor-in-chief always prepares for everything in advance. We have obituaries ready for all public figures! For kings, for instance, since their lives often hang by a thread, or a noose or a knife or a revolver. We have obituaries ready for Members of Parliament since many of them are exceedingly advanced in age. We have obituaries for noted writers and for other figures of renown. Adham-Uti: Figures of renown, you say? |
| Zeneli: Yes, of course. A renowned healer, for instance, could kick the bucket anytime, just like the rest of us. Adham-Uti: Yes, I suppose you are right (stopping to think for a moment): And what about me? Do you consider me to be a figure of renown? Zeneli: What do you mean? Are you asking me if you are old? Adham-Uti: No, I mean, do you consider me to be a great figure? Zeneli: With a long life? Adham-Uti (patiently): No, Zeneli, I want you to tell me if I too, am a figure of renown, I mean, whether or not I have a reputation as a healer and am known as a writer?... Zeneli: Well, that�s what you, I mean, they say. Adham-Uti: Tell me openly, am I, Doctor Adham-Uti, a figure of renown, or not? Zeneli: A what? Adham-Uti: A great man! Zeneli: Why do you even bother to ask? Of course, you are a man of considerable stature. Adham-Uti: You�re not making fun of me now, are you? Zeneli: Not at all, I swear it. I have no doubt whatsoever that you are a big man! Adham-Uti: How do you know? Zeneli: Because you are not short. |
| Adham-Uti: Why else? Zeneli: Because you have a beard and thinning hair. In fact, when I think about it, you�re as bald as a cucumber. That�s why you must be wise. Adham-Uti (satisfied): Where did you learn things like that? Zeneli: It�s what my grandmother taught me, God bless her. Adham-Uti: God bless her indeed. She seems to have been a woman of sage judgments. That would mean then that your employer, Sk�ndo Bey, must have an obituary about me, too! Tell me the truth, Zeneli, don�t keep anything from me! Zeneli: I�m sure he must have, After all, you are a Member of Parliament, and you are not that young anymore. You are an elderly statesman. I can assure you of that. Adham-Uti: Alright, alright, Zeneli. Can you give me your word? Zeneli: About what? Adham-Uti: Can you keep a secret? |
| Zeneli: No need to worry about that. I am discretion itself. No one ever gets a word out of me. (To himself): I don�t think so, anyway. Adham-Uti: Very well. You have done me a great favour. Take this silver coin. Zeneli: A real coin? For me? Adham-Uti: For you. Zeneli: I may be a Moslem, but I have the impression I am going to be �bearing the cross� with my own two hands. Adham-Uti: Why is that? Zeneli: They say you are a bit stingy, actually. Adham-Uti: Don�t listen to rumours. Zeneli: A coin, all for me? Adham-Uti: I have two others for you, too, Zeneli, if you tell me... Zeneli: Oh, damn, now I understand. You want to know what my boss wrote about you, the text which �Lirija� will print when you pass away. |
| Adham-Uti: You will tell me, won�t you? Zeneli: Damn it! But then... why not. If I, for my part, were to ask a favour of you, not a coin, but something which wouldn�t cost you a thing. They say after all that your wife only doles you out a few cents a day... Adham-Uti: What do you want of me, my boy? Zeneli: You can�t make money here. I�ve got barely enough to survive on. Adham-Uti: And? Zeneli: I was thinking to going to Egypt, to Alexandria. Adham-Uti: And then what? Zeneli: To put it short, milord, I would like to ask you to give me a letter of recommendation for the president of the Bashkimi Club so that I can get a job. Adham-Uti: Do you know his name? Zeneli: No, I don�t. I can�t remember, but I�ve heard he has a huge moustache, a tall body and two eyes that... Adham-Uti: What you mean is a big chunk of meat with two eyes attached to it. Ha, ha, ha! And of course he has money? |
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