The Top Ten Reasons to Be Canadian
(or American or English)


Top Ten Reasons to be Canadian:

1. It beats being an American.

2. The only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.

4. The only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

5. Where else can you travel 1,000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.

7. The only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

8. You can kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.

9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.

10. The only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.


The Top Ten Reasons to be American:

1. You can have a woman president without electing her.

2. You can spell color wrong and get away with it.

3. You can call Budweiser beer.

4. You can be a crook and still be president.

5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.

6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.

7. You get to be really obese.

8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.

9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".

10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.

10a. When you're not.

10b. At all.


The Top Ten Reasons to be English:

1. Two World Wars and One World Cup-doo-dah, doo-dah...

2. Proper beer.

3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.

4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.

5. Union jack underpants.

6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.

7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.

9. Ditto changing underwear.

10. Beats being Welsh.



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