Chapter 158: Tangers
XV--Can’t Live Without ‘Em....
All in all I had to say the photo shoot had gone really well. I mean when
we were told the theme of the poster for the first time I think it’s safe to say
that all of us were pretty miffed about it. Standing around in shiny swim trunks
simply for titillation’s sake? Honestly! I had never heard of such an
exploitative thing in my life!
But when I got to thinking about it, I realized that Lifeguards present a
positive image and that since they save lives and all that them maybe it isn’t a
bad thing. Besides, my trunks, which I think Mimi picked seeing as I didn’t have
a “Better Half” were actually quite decent, not like, say Peter’s trunks which
were tight and short.
The only real snag in the entire proceedings I think was when Robbie blew
his whistle really, really loud in Patty’s ear in the locker room. I was afraid
that maybe Patty had actually gone deaf or something but he got his hearing back
at the time the pictures were taken. Still, at practice later that day, I don’t
think Patty heard anything I yelled to him on the ice. I had clearly said to
him, “Hey Patty I’m right next to you.”
And then Patty bumped into me and fell on me and he smacked me on the
ankles with his stick when we both stood up. “Hey!” he said in a voice that was
almost yelling. “Tell me where you are next time!”
“Hey Scotty!” I said to Parker at the other end of the practice
ice.
“Yup,” Parker said to me. “What is it kid?”
How come everyone still called me kid! I mean I think I’m not a rookie
anymore so that would warrant some sort of title other than kid, wouldn’t
it?
“Yeah,” I said, “Um... I think Patty’s having some trouble
hearing.”
Scott crinkled his eyes. “You think? Really?”
I nodded. “I mean I don’t think he’s deaf but he might be having some
sort of trouble. I mean if her were, then he probably would be a little too
embarrassed to say anything about it, you know how goalies
are.”
“Hmm,” Scott replied. “Let’s test this out.”
At that point I thought that maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all
to Parker.
“Hey Patty!” Parker barked at Patty as we doing some drills. Patty made
no reaction and then he butterflied to stop a shot. Parker looked at me and
shrugged.
“HEY PATTY!” he bellowed. Patty still made no move to show that he had
heard Parker. My heart broke at that point. What would happen to Patty if he
were deaf? How terrible for him and his family! I mean he hadn’t even reached
his dream of winning five Stanley Cups or playing in a thousand games yet! Why
now, why did this have to happen?
“What are you guys up to?” Joe asked, taking a squirt of water in his
mouth.
“I think Patty’s deaf!” I exclaimed.
Joe frowned, didn’t say anything and he just skated
away.
“I think I better do the ultimate test,” Parker said with a
nod.
“Ultimate test?” I asked in utter misery. Not only was Patty deaf but
also now Joey was...was not caring about it! How could he not
care?
“Yup,” Parker said, excuse me.
“HEY PATTY!” Parker bellowed and Patty made no reaction to Parker. So
Parker said it. “YOUR WIFE BLOWS ED BELFOUR!”
All action on the ice stopped and there was an instant of silence. That
part didn’t bother Parker and I so much as the fact that Patty had stood up
straight and he was staring directly at Parker with eyes filled with such anger
that I could feel my legs tremble. Oh yeah, he had heard that all
right.
Parker grinned. “Yay! You can hear!”
“BITCH!” Patty yelled and he tore of his helmet and pounced on Parker
knocking him to the ice, a tangle of striped hockey socks and shiny goalie pads.
I grimaced as the rest of the team made a circle around them. Maybe Parker had
come on a bit strong.....
“Why you guys always picking on Eddie?” Mike Modano asked me as we stayed
out of the group. I cringed when it looked like Footer was trying to help Patty
out by swinging a punch at Parker, missed and whacked Morris in the
face.
I looked at Modano and shrugged, “Cause he a dork!” I
said.
Modano nodded. “I mean he’s a little weird but he ain’t that bad of a
guy.”
I looked at Modano and slowly skated backwards, creeping away from
him.
Needless to say, it was a little uneasy in the locker room that night at
the
“Dru what the fuck is that in here for?” Keaner growled at him when Dru
entered the room with it, grinning and waving.
“I bet Dru got some that’s why he ain’t grumpy,” I huffed, I was in a bad
mood cause I had to help Parker put away equipment, dry gloves, and scrub the
shower floors even though I never told him to say that stupid Belfour comment to
Patty. Why was I in trouble too?
“Well it’s more than you’ve been getting,” Drury said with an
uncharacteristically huge smile as he turned the camera to my face.
“Humphf,” I said crossing my arms over my chest. That was none of his
business!
“Heeeeeey!” Footer said looking in a better mood already despite the dark
welt around his right eye. “You find yourself a honey who won’t bite? You do
look like you’re glowing Dru!”
“Thank GOD they’re not on my back for once!” Peter whispered into my ear.
I looked at him and smiled.
“Sure,” Dru said turning the camera around the locker room. “But I’m not
gonna ruin a good thing by telling you shits who she is, but just know that
she’s more pure woman than any of you freaks could
handle!”
“What’s the camera for?” Patty asked holding up a cosmetic mirror and
squinting at his eye that was beginning to blacken. I was amazed that all Patty
had was a black eye. I mean no offense to Patty but I don’t think he’s a very
good fighter and that’s what Parker’s job was! But I suppose that’s how much
Patty cared about his wife, love can make you do funny things and now Parker was
missing three more teeth.
“Commemoration, my friend!” Dru said. “Commemoration! Our Captain is on
the cusp of scoring 500 goals and this will be a locker room diary of it, I got
Mark to film shots of the game from the bench. It’ll be great, something for Joe
to show his kids when they ask about ole 500.”
“WOW!” Joe said, “You did get laid didn’t you Dru?”
All of us looked at Joe who shrugged. “Well if I can see
it....”
Words too true!
“Well,” Danny said, “You might want to cut out the first five minutes of
this video diary if you’re gonna show it to Joe’s kids cause there’s already
been a fuck a shit and talking about you getting laid.”
“Two fucks, two shits now,” Keaner said.
Patty giggled. “Now three fucks and three shits!”
More guys started laughing and Robbie yelled. “Now it’s four..
OW!”
Joe had whapped Robbie on the head with a rolled up newspaper and he
snapped. “Enough with the “fucks” already OK!”
That silenced us.
“Hey Captain,” Peter said in an awed voice, “You said
it!”
Joe rolled his eyes. He seemed bothered by something. Could it have just
been the team spat this afternoon? Somehow I didn’t think that it was.
“You OK Captain?” I asked, feeling concerned.
Joe shrugged. “Yeah,” he said dully. “No.. it doesn’t
matter.”
I think all of us exchanged looks.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Mike Modano asked, his voice dripping with concern.
“You can tell us! We’re a team.”
There was a round of nods.
Joe looked up and scanned the room with his gaze. It was obvious that he
was distraught. How could this be! Not our Joey!
“It’s my wife!” Joe finally exclaimed. “She won’t.... she won’t... she
won’t shut up about this thing that she wants and I won’t say yes and she’s like
nag, nag, nag!”
I don’t know how loud my sigh of relief was but I don’t think mine was
the only one. When he had said “wife” my first thought was that maybe Debbie was
getting sick again or something like that. Nag? Well that wasn’t so bad. All
women “nagged” didn’t they? I wonder what it was that Debbie wanted so badly
that Joe actually was telling the team.
“I say just give it to her,” Patty said. “I mean what could it
hurt?”
Joe shook his head, “Nah Uh she is NOT getting her way on this
one.
“Well what is it?” Eric Messier asked. “It couldn’t be that
bad.”
Almost in that moment we heard the voices, FEMALE
voices.
“I said you shouldn’t be in here really it’s
not...”
“CAN IT Bob!” I heard a sharp voice, which I recognized as Debbie’s snip.
“We’ll only be a minute and you can have the boys back.”
The door swung open and in came Debbie and Mimi, their skinny arms on
their slim hips. Both of them had narrowed eyes but not in a mean way, more like
in a smug way. “Joe!” Debbie said. “Darling!”
“NO!” Joe barked. “It’s not happening!”
Debbie looked at Mimi and grabbed her hand. “If we can convince the team
that it’s a good idea can we have our way?”
I frowned, what did Debbie want so badly?