Chapter 70: Tangers VIII

The Land of Nuts and Fruits--Play Cards

Chapter 70: Tangers VIII—The Land of Nuts and Fruits—Play Cards

"I don’t care if they’re free!" Joe snapped. He was glaring at everyone in the room, all the pretty hookers and all of the guys. "Bad publicity is free."

I crossed my arms and nodded in agreement.

"STD’s are free!" he said.

So true! I thought.

"Destroying your marriage vows, is free!" he added.

I looked straight at Patty for good measure, to see if he were listening to all this. Patrick met my gaze with such a sharp glare that I almost wet myself and I pulled closer to Joe. Patrick then wrapped his arm around a brown haired lady’s waist and whispered something to her. I had to do a double take when I saw the woman. She looked a lot like Debbie, Joe’s Debbie.

"And another thing!" Joe said, balling his fist and bringing it down on his open palm. Before he could say anything more, the hooker that looked like Debbie walked past him, looking at him briefly and smiling.

Joe blanched. "Woah," he said. "She’s pretty..."

And to my horror, Joe said nothing more as he followed the harlot down the hallway. There was a long, odd silence as I think all of us tried to process that information. After Blakie’s goaltending performance earlier, and now this, anything in this world seemed possible. Joe had just followed some strange hooker down a dark hallway! I felt suddenly hurt and angry. How could he do something like this?

"Well," Blake finally said. "I guess that’s as good as Cap’n’s permission."

One of the ladies threw her head back and laughed. "You hockey players are so weird! You always need captain’s permission!" And she laughed some more.

That was as effective as a dinner bell. I stood in helpless shock as the guys began pairing up with girls, with no regard in their heads for the sleep they would need tonight and the families and girlfriends they had waiting for them at home. But what could I do?

I didn’t have nearly enough status to thump my chest and tell the other guys what to do. I would need a veteran speaking for me. And Keaner was nowhere I could see, and neither was Footie. Foppa and Drury were already hanging on a woman and Blakie was too. I knew that the coach would definitely stop this. I mean, he didn’t even allow porn in the locker room. But it wasn’t like I could go wake him up and be the one who snitched on everyone. I did at least value my life!

"Hey Patty!" Pascal cackled. "So many beautiful ladies, so little time!"

"I want twelve!" Patty barked.

I reddened and looked at my shoes. I thought of Michele at home right now with the kids and of Debbie and the babies. I would have thought that Debbie of all the wives had nothing to fear from her husband!

"Come on," Patty said to some lady. "I have a friend you can help out..." and off he went with her.

I sighed and looked up again. The area was mostly empty now and that’s when I noticed Noter. He was standing, white-faced in the middle of the floor, holding onto the hand of some girl. And I say girl because that’s what she was. It was obvious under the coat of make-up covering her face and the loose fitting designer clothes, that she was a girl. I was more than horrified now. I didn’t know Danny was like that!

"Danny!" I gasped hoping that he didn’t know exactly what he was holding onto. "She’s just a kid!"

The girl sighed loudly and Danny shook his head. "Oh no!" he said. "I wasn’t thinking of... Keaner was gonna... I was just getting her outta there!"

"Shit, boys," the girl said in a very grating, whiny accent. "I don’t need rescuin, I ain’t twelve or anythin."

"Well that makes everything better," Danny said with a sarcastic voice.

"Well," the girl said, "If’n ya don’t need me, then I’m gonna go find..."

"Oh no you don’t!" Danny said. "You’re staying with us! You’ve been all paid for so doesn’t that mean that you haveta do what I say?"

The girl nodded. "So long as you don’t cut me or kill me or nothin, yeah." She said. "What did you have in mind?"

Danny sighed and the look he gave me was a helpless one. It was the look overwhelmed babysitters got. I shrugged at him. Like I knew what to do! I mean baby-sitting teen prostitutes is not one of the things we learn in training camp.

"Hey kittens," Pascal said in my ear causing me to startle. "Why don’t you play some cards?"

"Huh?" Noter said.

Trep grinned and slipped a plastic wrapped deck of cards into my hands and then he wandered off with whatever temptress of the night he had with him. I looked at Danny with raised eyebrows.

"Cards?" I asked.

Danny shrugged. "Kids can play cards," he said. "Sounds safe to me."

The girl’s face was crinkled like any teen’s does when she hears something she thinks is supremely stupid. "Oh Lordy!" she exclaimed.

The room Joey and I shared was empty, which was in a way disappointing. It meant that the captain was somewhere else, doing other things. It made a little knot form in my throat and then I shook it away, I had to be more thickly skinned.

"Alright," Noter said, flopping onto the bed and smoothing the comforter out. "Let’s play some cards!"

The girl who I now knew was named Chloe sighed again and then grinned. "Strip poker anyone?"

Both Noter and I glared at her. She laughed. "Fine, whatever," she said. "Just checkin to see that I’m still with a pair ah space aliens and not men. Alls I know outside of strip is Go Fish, ‘less ya wanna play real poker with sommin else, an’ I ain’t got no money on me."

"Fish it is then," Noter said. "Open up those cards Tangers."

"Tangers?" Chloe laughed. "What kinda name’s that?"

I frowned and began peeling the plastic off the box of cards. "Tanguay," I said. "French."

"Frinch?" Chloe said. "Frinch? I’ve got some Frinch in me I reckon, my daddy’s name is Par-fay but ever’one calls him Par-fett."

"Well, why aren’t ya with him now?" Danny said in a stern voice.

Chloe laughed again. "You don’t wanna meet my daddy hunny. Ah’m safer here."

The plastic squeaked angrily as I pulled it off the box and wadded it up. I tossed it on the floor where it squeaked more as it straightened itself out. "OK," I said. "Cards are free!"

"Yay," Chloe said, clapping her red hands together. "Let me deal em sugar."

Danny smiled at her approvingly and I smiled too. I opened up the crimson colored box and as I slid the cards out from it, I took one glance at them and screamed, tossing them to the floor.

"What the hell?" Danny exclaimed.

I shook my head. "I hate Trep, I really do!"

Chloe picked up the cards and smoothing them out she suddenly noticed the pictures printed on the face of them and she laughed. "Oh my God! These are sex cards ain’t they!"

"What?" Danny asked and he grabbed them from her. "Shit!"

Chloe laughed harder.

"Tangers we can’t play with these!" he said.

I took them back from Danny, looked at them, all of the proper numbers, symbols were there, and it’s just that people having sex with multiple partners was painted on each card. It was two people for the two cards, three people for the three cards, and for the Royalty cards there was like odd sex techniques labeled and pictured there. By the way I won’t say what was on the Ace card, but I’ll remind you that the Ace represents the number one. I grimaced. "Well," I said. "All the proper numbers are there, we can still play Go Fish, it’s just pictures."

"Are both y’all virgins or sommin?" she laughed. "Ya boys wearin chastity belts?"

"Oh hell," Danny muttered. "Let her pass the cards, and let’s play the damn game!"

Chloe grabbed the deck happily and with her other hand she glanced at the white paper that was inside the box. "Hey," she said. "The game in this is Go Erect, not Go Fish! We gotta play by the rules!"

I think Danny and I both dropped our faces into our hands and we both groaned.

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