Chapter 175: Robinson—Returning Ghost
Sometimes
it was strange to Larry. Sometimes it didn’t seem like he had left at all. He
felt sometimes, especially on those off days on the
It was
beautiful in
Robinson liked that. It relaxed him. He liked seeing his wife, Jeannette frolic with new friends shopping, sunning, eating, smiling. There were hockey fans here but not one of them was hockey mad. It was nice knowing that his wife and children could be out and no one would recognize who they were and try giving them messages to tell him to pay attention to his blue line, or why couldn’t he hit harder anymore? There was safety there and there were long stretches of time where Larry could not believe he hadn’t left sooner. Quite simply, he could breathe here.
It was always on the beach, where it would creep into him, the restlessness. He wasn’t completely happy. He saw those skinny girls in their bikini’s, smiles and blond hair, giggling and completely aware of who was looking at their bodies. There was a certain innocence to them, as if they took it for granted that they would show off their magnificent bodies and still maintain their right to decide who touched them.
Like a ghost simpering in his brain, Michele’s face appeared on these girls, and Larry didn’t know what it meant. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, that smiling nineteen year old with the flashing blue eyes and appallingly tacky fashion sense in clothes and perfume. She had been happy, naïve like these girls, uncomprehending about where a girl truly belonged in this world, when men looked at her.
She had changed, she had learned and yet she still went on bullheaded, doing the wrong thing. She had stopped listening to him, and now she was fat with a baby, no longer a girl. Larry felt that flush of anger underneath his skin just thinking about how she had disobeyed him, shown her spoiled, unappreciative nature just so she could have a baby that would ruin her life and Patrick’s life.
Seven months. It had been seven months since he had last possessed her body, listened to her breathy moans in his ear, felt her smooth thighs around his waist. He remembered thinking at that time that she had been the most perfect young woman he had ever had the chance to own. She was instinctive in how to please him, she knew exactly when to kiss, where to touch him and when to come. There was a submissive, kittenish nature to her that completely under laid the prickly, temperamental exterior she threw out sometimes. She was the perfect companion for a married man.
And then after that last union she had proven to him that she also knew when to hurt. Pregnant? Pregnant? Why the hell would she want to destroy her girlish, perfect, unspoiled little figure with a baby? She would bloat, and eat, and vomit, and sprout greenish veins on her legs. He didn’t desire his wife any less after the children she had, but that was different. Wives had babies, a fillette did not. A young wife got pregnant and then became a woman with a child. Michele just was not a wife, she could never be a wife or a mother. Why couldn’t she understand what her place in this world was? It was simple. She had made love to him that day knowing that she would hurt him for everything the others had done to her. She was going to make him pay and in doing so she was making another big mess of things.
That had been seven months ago. It was too late to change anything. He imagined she was huge now, ready to burst and no doubt miserable and ungainly. Was Patrick unhappy with it? Larry didn’t suppose so, from what he heard, Patrick was still unbeaten at home this season…. And it was March. He had never heard of such a thing, a goalie going unbeaten at home. It would bite him somewhere, probably a losing streak or a playoff disaster. Things like that didn’t last.
“You think too much, yes?” Jeannette’s voice slid into his brain. It wasn’t the voice he wanted to hear, it wasn’t the accent he wanted to hear.
Larry smiled at his wife and she grinned back at him, playful, a little tipsy. “No mustache, I’m trying to get accustomed to it. You look so much younger.”
The first
thing Larry thought of when he saw the kid, was dorky giraffe. There really was
no other description for the boy fresh from
He wanted him immediately, and he knew that he couldn’t. It was an enraging thought. Times were changing and something told him that this boy wouldn’t take well at all to certain pleasures.
Robinson knew that his career was over. He knew his usefulness was not so much as an imposing on ice figure as it was to be a teacher. He was the veteran at the end of his line and all he had left to give, was knowledge and inspiration to the younger men, the new wave.
They were on the practice ice, Larry felt his lungs screaming for oxygen, his muscles cramping with exhaustion. He coughed and stopped watching as the kid suddenly turned backwards to the puck carrier and slammed his hind end to the guy, bowling them both over and they both fell into a pile on the ice.
Larry frowned. “What the hell was that?” he hollered as he skated to them.
“Ooooo,” the other man wheezed, “Can’t breathe!” He coughed and rolled onto his belly.
The kid grinned, “That was a hit! Heh heh it was rad.”
Robinson rolled his eyes. The kid spent so much time on the beach hanging out with surfers, learning their lingo. It was infuriating and it would have driven him over the edge a long time ago if he wasn’t so damn cute. “That was not a hit,” Robinson said. “You disabled yourself along with the puck carrier. You just made it a four on four game, anyone can take that loose puck.”
The kid sniffed and nodded, a flash of serious listening in his eyes. “Sure,” he said. “Dude I didn’t do it right see, like I totally can do it better. Just watch.”
“No,” Robinson said as the kid stood up, “I don’t want to watch jack shit. You’re going to hit with your shoulder and keep yourself in the play, none of this backwards shit, how do you know you’re even gonna hit the right guy hitting blind like that?”
The kid swallowed, even looked a little hurt. That touched Robinson some. The kid had made it perfectly clear to him when they first met how he had idolized him all of his life. He absorbed everything he told him, Robinson knew he was learning fast.
“Dude,” the kid said, “Just give me a chance. You’ll totally dig it!”
Robinson sighed and nodded. “Alright, go on Robbie. Show me what you got.”
The drill started off again. Robinson had to practically twist another newbie’s arm just to get a volunteer to be hit. The newbie was against the board, toying with a puck and Robbie skated through the ice, his tongue hanging out like an eager puppy and taking one glance at the newbie he pivoted on his skates, stuck his ass out and bowled the poor guy over. The sound and force of the hit was amazing and the newbie crumpled, helpless to the ground. Robbie maintained his feet however and he was still standing, facing the play, a puck at his skates for the taking. The smile on his face was adorable.
“See!” he said. “It’s all about timing, and I’m still facing the play so I don’t even have to worry about turning the right way if I had hit him with my shoulder!”
Robinson couldn’t hide his smile, the kid had won his heart. “That’s great,” he said. “Just make sure your timing’s never off, OK Blakie?”
Robbie ran his tongue over his lips and nodded.
“Ooooh my love you are like a puppy! An ugly, tall puppy only your momma can love yes?”
“Hehehehehe,
L-Larry what she say?”
Larry yawned and looked away
from the hotel television at Robbie who was jostling a slim, young, French girl
in his lap. Her golden curls were shiny and bouncing as she giggled, her hands
on his cheeks. She didn’t speak a word of English. Robbie of course spoke no
French, it was a perfect evening match.
“She said you’re gorgeous and if you don’t grab her tit now she’s gonna die,” Larry said.
Robbie’s eyes widened. “Damn! French girls are cool!”
Robbie wasted no time in grabbing onto the girl’s small breast and squeezing.
“Ooof!” the girl gasped. “You clumsy bastard you grab worse than you walk with no grace you irritating young man you!” She promptly slapped Robbie, but not hard.
Robbie’s eyes widened. “Heh, Larry she hit me, I think it turned me on.”
Larry smiled, “Of course it did kid, now tell her she’s the pinnacle of your universe and you would do anything to please her.”
Blake grinned. “How do I say that? Tell her for me Larry please!”
“Girl,” Larry said and the French girl looked at him, cute little lips, large blinking blue eyes.
“Yes, Old man?” she replied.
Larry felt irked but he spoke to her calmly. “Robbie wants me to tell you that he thinks your tits are too small, you have no ass and he’s wondering if that means the rest of you is pleasantly tight.”
Her eyes narrowed and she turned to Robbie, and she slapped him harder this time. “You pig! You’re not even worth licking the shit off my ass you disgusting oaf I take it back no mommy would love a puppy like you!”
Robbie blinked and looked at Larry, his cheek reddening. “What she say?”
Larry smiled. “She said take me you large hunk of man flesh you, take me.”
Robbie grinned. “Cool.”He jumped on the girl pinning her to the bed.
“Oof!” she gasped and was quickly reduced to giggles and weak slaps. “I hate you! Worthless useless heavy clumsy shit I spit on your mother’s grave and shoot your father’s angel from the stars… OOOOO yesssss….yes….yessss!”
Larry shook his head and swung his legs of his bed, putting on his shoes. He wasn’t in the mood to watch the kid getting laid by a French whore. “Have fun,” Larry mumbled as he walked out of the room.
He inhaled
the cool, thick
It was habit. He knew they were living in the same place, he had a few letters from Michele, letters that Jeannette had ripped to pieces and tossed into the trash. He didn’t want to see Michele pregnancy swollen and useless. But he did miss her, and he missed Patrick. He was the other half of that coin that he had lost.
Patrick was the first one he had taken an interest in. The boy who had been tyrannical, egotistically, edgy, twitchy, soft and pale skinned. If Mario hadn’t snatched the boy so quickly, Larry would have done it himself. That much fire at the tongue, at the fingers, was too good to pass up. He missed him. Maybe he would be home and glad to see him.
The eyes were unmistakably Patrick’s on the young girl who answered the door. They were brilliant blue and large. Still they were hidden by ungainly glasses and her bangs were feathered and sprayed around her face. He barely recognized the rest of her, sprouting and coltish now.
“Hello Alexandra,” Larry said. He bent over and brushed his finger over her milky, pointed chin. “Remember me?”
Alexandra rolled her eyes. “Yes of course, Larry,” she said. And she took a step back from him.
Larry raised his eyebrows. “Is your brother around?”
Alexandra shook her head. “No, he’s at the hospital.”
“What?” Larry exclaimed feeling terror. “Why?”
“His girlfriend is having a baby,” Alexandra said, “And they left me here, kids not allowed. I wanna see the baby! I’m fifteen, it’s not like I’m a kid.”
The baby was being born then, the tie was completely severed, he could never have either of them again. Larry felt the anger and disappointment. “No,” he said and he looked at Alexandra, amazed at how attractive the girl was becoming, “You’re definitely not a kid anymore.” He couldn’t help glancing over her body.
Alexandra met his gaze and her cheeks flushed. “Mr. Robinson I really… I really think you should leave now.”
“Aren’t you lonely?” he asked, feeling his skin dampening with reckless, irrational desire. Wouldn’t she be a sweet one? Compliant, soft…
Alexandra narrowed her eyes, looking the picture of her brother when angered. “No I’m not,” she snapped and she pressed her hands on him shoving him into the hallway, “but apparently you are!” With that the girl slammed the door and he heard the locks clicking on it.
“Dammit!” Larry spat.
He met the French girl as she was leaving the hotel room and she had a haughty little grin as she tried to brush by him. Larry snatched her skinny arm in his hand and pushed her roughly against the wall.
“Pig!” she snarled. “Let go of me or I will scream!”
Larry grinned and kissed her, being careful not to overwhelm her at first, kissing her tenderly, the way girls liked it and then slowly intensifying it, he slid his hand over her breast feeling her pulse race. He felt her relax, become his.
“My God!” she gasped. “You kiss like a dream.”
“Mmm,” Larry replied and nibbled on her throat, pulling up her skirt and fumbling with her over heated panties, aroused knowing that Robbie had just been there. In fact he knew he could smell the kid on her, she was saturated with him. “What’s your name darling?”
“Ooof!” The girl gasped and she giggled, attacking his fly and wiggling against him. Larry wasted no time in sliding into her, lifting her legs around him. “My love my love!” she giggled, pressing her little fingers into his shoulders. “Gilberte, my name is Gilberte.”
Larry smiled. “Do your little friends call you Gigi?”
The girl laughed bit into his shoulder before answering him. “Yes they call me Gigi.”
“How old are ya?”
The baby had been born. Larry had heard it from everyone on the street on the television, from his teammates. Patrick had a son, no word on the name, but mother and baby were fine. And Patrick would be playing tonight.
A son? Larry thought. A son? Michele had declared that she would have a son, Patrick had been glowing when he told him of the pregnancy and that he believed that Mimi would give birth to exactly what she said she would.
That bitch! Of course she would find a way to get what she wanted.
The game was lost very quickly. Excited teammates, exuberant goaltender, the energy in the Forum were unmistakable. Larry had walked into the visitor’s locker room for the first time in his career ever. He no longer belonged to the ghosts here and he felt lost and alone. There was no power on his side, there were no spirits over his shoulder. He had abandoned her and he would have no happy return.
They were down 5-1 in the game and Larry leaned over to Blake who was panting like a dog. On the bright side the kid had successfully pulled off three ass hits and it was causing quite a stir in the building. It was going to be a pretty nifty thing to watch in the upcoming years.
“Hey Blakie,” Larry whispered into Robbie’s ear. “Wanna know how old that girl was?”
Blake raised his eyebrows. “Sure.”
Larry whispered into his ear and Blake’s eyes widened. “Cool!” he said in an awestruck voice.
Blake was
snoring, Larry couldn’t sleep. He had to go, he had to see. He got dressed and
left, walking the cold, night time streets. It was past
“Family only,” the nurse said over her dark rimmed glasses. “And no one after ten. Go away.”
Larry cleared his throat and the nurse gave him an irritated look until her eyes widened with recognition. “Of course!” she gasped. “Of course in room 121, sorry to keep you waiting Mr. Robinson.”
He strolled slowly down the hallway of the hospital, smelling ether and disinfectant and blood and childbirth. She didn’t belong here. He had to see her to finally believe it.
Room 121. He slowly turned the knob, knocking lightly and pressing the door open. The lamp was on in the room, and there she was. Michele was sitting upright in the bed, she wasn’t looking up at him. There was an intoxicated smile on her face as she sat with the baby at her bare breast. Larry’s throat closed with frustrated yearning and hate.
“No!” she said still not looking up, “No do not take him just yet please. He is all I have. Yes my precious he is all I love!”
It was her voice cooing and still girlish and dizzy. But it wasn’t her anymore. She was milk swollen and her fingers were swollen and she was a woman now, unmistakably a woman in the clutches of a baby.
“Have you ever loved anything else, Mimi?” he said, his voice cracking.
“My God!” she gasped and looked up at him, it was her eyes, tired and her face was round and… oh God plump! This wasn’t her at all, how could he have come here? “Larry?” she whispered. “Is it really you?”
Larry nodded, not knowing what else to do.
“Like a ghost,” she whispered. “Like a ghost returned. Come sit down, see my son.”
Larry closed the door behind him and wandered into the room sitting on the chair by the bed. He stared in horrified fascination at the tiny, red, wrinkled face at her ivory, fat breast.
“Oo!” She gasped and she laughed looking at him. “It hurts, I am sore but he won’t let go. He has his father’s determination I think. I will have to wait for him to finish before I can show you.”
“S’alright,” Larry said. “It doesn’t hurt too much?”
Michele shook her head. “No, not at all. It feels nice, almost too nice. Does that make me wicked? I like it.”
Larry shook his head. “Naw, it’s supposed to feel good to coax the mother to keep doing it. It’s natural.”
Michele smiled and it was the smile he recognized and it broke his heart. “Ooo Larry you’ve shaved! You look so nice and your hair too, its so neat and tidy. That’s nice.”
“You look good too,” he said.
Michele narrowed her eyes, and that was quintessentially her as well. He was beginning to feel more comfortable. “Oo don’t lie!” she snapped. “I am fat and tired and my body is tired and worn. I never thought the day would come when you would be more attractive than I am but here you are.”
Larry laughed. “Is Patrick here?”
Michele rolled her eyes. “He was here for the birth, yes? He was here and he wins a big game, his family too, psssssh bitches all of them. They are all at home. Patrick he wanted to stay but his mother would not have it, she takes him home with her and leaves me alone. Is fine I suppose I want my son all to myself but Patrick… I will not complain. I will not! He has a game today and he holds my hands, and strokes my back and helps me through it… Larry the pain is indescribable! It is wrong! I thought I would die!”
It was her! It was her! Only she could babble on like that and he would hang on her every syllable.
“It doesn’t get any easier,” he said.
Michele rolled her eyes. “I don’t care,” she leaned forward and kissed the baby’s forehead. “Is worth it.”
Larry became aware of the little noises the baby was making, the little mews and grunts as he was drinking.
“I miss you so much,” he said.
Michele smiled slowly. “I hope so,” she said. “I really, really hope so.”
Larry sighed. “So what’s his name?”
“Jonathan,” she said. “Beautiful baby.”
She gasped when the baby finally released her, making soft, fussy sounds. “Ah see! He is the most beautiful boy.” She held the baby up, not even bothering to cover up her breast. Larry saw the newborn’s, wrinkled face, his mouth opening and closing. The little creature that stole her from him. He saw immediately, Patrick’s eyes. Larry had initially had slight doubts about Patrick’s paternity, not quite ready to believe that he had not been the one to impregnate her, but it was obvious now. Larry reached out, touched the baby’s soft, spotted cheek.
“I think I’m going to cry,” he whispered.
Michele giggled and cuddled the baby to her, still not covering herself up. “I hope so Larry,” she said. “I really, really hope so.”
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