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Thanks to Jad for her idea on this one
Chapter 22: Joey or The Affair of the Gift Baskets—The Consequences
At the sound of the ripping net, Joe Sakic decided to look down at the ice, and not see what he knew was happening. Yup, he thought to himself, hell has definitely frozen over. Hell had a name.........it was Scottsdale, Arizona. He didn’t like to think of himself as a man easily spooked, or even a real superstitious man, but some weird shit was going on right now, and it was rather scary.
The building was rocking with laughter. The ice was too. Joe could hear the guys on the bench snickering or outright laughing. Sure, he thought, they’ve been finding everything else funny tonight, why not this? Joe shook his head and peered up at the action. Footer was rolling around in the torn net, and Patty was trying to get his paw on Adam to still him, but instead, Patty’s arm got tangled in the netting. Joe raised his eyebrows, now Patty was panicking....and getting more tangled.
The audience and players were now simply dying of laughter. Joe had to admit the shrill sounds of Patty cursing, of Foote’s bellows and the overall sight of the two men just tangled with each other was funny. For the first time that evening, Joe smiled.
He slowly skated over to the melee, brushing past the refs, who were hanging back, either enjoying the show or just not wanting to interfere until the hockey players had calmed down.
"I’m not ready to die in here!" Patty wailed.
"Well they’re you’re stupid posts!" Footer snarled, "Shit Patty what did ya do to em?"
Joe stopped about three feet away from them and he glanced at the naked goal frame. It looked really weird, almost like something sad and desolate. As Foote and Patty continued to struggle with each other, Joe reached out and touched the cold metal. He felt something almost like a small electric charge, a bit unsettling. He leaned over and peered at the frame. How the hell did that net rip off?
Joe glanced at the ensnared players. Patty jerked back and his helmet clattered off, skidding across the ice. Patty fell to his back and somehow his jersey had slipped over his face. His irate screams were now muffled a bit.
Joe began to giggle to himself and then he looked up at the audience in the seats. There was a row of kids sitting near the glass, popcorn and pizza in their laps, winking coyotes on their chests, and huge smiles on their faces. Joe shook his head. He felt sorry for Patty and Footie but hell! He couldn’t wait until Mitchell had children, and he had those children on his lap, and he was telling them all about this day as they laughed just like those kids in the seats now.
Joe peered up at the clock on the jumbo-tron. Hell, there was still ten minutes to go in the third period. Maybe this will cause a good momentum swing.
"I hate you! I hate you!" Patrick was snarling from within his jersey. Joe couldn’t guess at whom he was yelling at. It certainly wasn’t Footer’s fault that this happened.
"Well I told you to get out of the way," a voice whispered near Joe’s elbow.
Joe turned around quickly, looking for a ref, or teammate or someone who could have said that. But no one was there. Joe wrinkled his brow and slowly, his skin prickling, he looked down at the naked goalposts. Noooo, he thought to himself, it couldn’t be.
Rattled and a little spooked, Joe decided to skate away and let the proper people untangle the players and fix the net. He didn’t want to be anywhere near those posts....not that he was a superstitious man or anything, he was just being safe.
It took another fifteen minutes for the crews to clear out the damaged net and bring out a fresh one. In that time, Patty was pacing in the locker room yelling in a weird French/English mixture and flailing his arms around. Joe had peeked in a couple times, deciding to let Patty burn his steam. When he heard the unmistakable snap of something large and heavy being torn over, Joe decided to send the troops in after Patty.
"Ooooooooooh," David Aebishcer purred, "Does that mean it’s my turn to play?"
Joe looked at Abby. "No," he said, "Patty’s not getting out of this game that easy."
Abby grinned and leaned forward over the bench. "Just checking," he said.
Patty was hauled out of the locker room in time for the start of the new face off. He was muttering and twitching in a way that Joe hadn’t seen in a long time. He couldn’t remember if it were a good or a bad thing.
Joe leaned over for the face off, not even noticing whom he was facing off against. He was just looking at the spot where the puck would be dropped. As he won the puck back, his mind began to race with ideas on how to salvage this game. Drury and Keaner had salvaged a two-goal deficit last game. They could certainly here. Why the hell did no one have their skating legs tonight?
It took Joe about three minutes to finally break into an open lane in the offensive zone and Bloop! he had the puck zinging over Sean Burke’s shoulder. He lifted his stick in celebration and his linemates, Tanguay and Hejduk were squishing him from each side. "A hat-trick! A hat-trick!" Hejduk kept saying over and over again.
Joe smiled, if that didn’t get the kids going, he didn’t know what would! Then he took a big whiff of Hejduk and he leaned forward quickly, taking a discreet sniff of Hejduk’s neck. Milan smelled like a thick, concoction of flowers! Should he ask? Did he want to know?!
Joe shook his head a bit. He knew that somehow, Hejduk smelling like a woman just now, had something to do with last night. What the hell happened last night?
Joe’s hat trick carried no momentum for the team. Joe was far from being frustrated now, he was just plain worried. Everyone was skating in circles! He hadn’t felt this surrounded by boneheads since the old days in Quebec.
As the clock began ticking down into the final minute of the game, and the Phoenix crowd began to cheer their team, Joe snapped up a loose puck and darted from the rest of the pack. If these boys didn’t want to do it, then he would.
The feeling was wonderful. The air was cool and whooshed in his ears as he sprinted towards the net, his legs felt wonderful as he pumped them. He didn’t look down at the puck, he knew it was on his stick, all he cared about was looking straight at the goalie. He was getting closer, closer......and then he was airborne. There had been a sharp pain in his shins after someone had chopped him down from behind, and then he was on the ice, sprawled on his back. Joe looked up, straight at the roof, and smiled to himself. If that wasn’t a penalty shot, then nothing was.
Joe didn’t feel nervous at all as he skated quickly by the bench, listening to the barks of encouragement from the guys. Joe looked up and down at their faces, he could see the excitement there, and the expectation. They were depending upon him. These were the moments that a hockey player lived for.
Joe took one last look around the rink, taking a deep breath before going to center ice. He stopped for a moment when he saw Patty, a few feet away from the rest of the team, talking with a rather unconcerned looking Claude Lemieux. What could they be talking about?
Joe shook it off. There were more important things at hand here, and as he began his attack on the net, he heard Claude Lemieux’s voice cut through the air. "Modano is in love with Joe?!"
That was the last thing Joe thought he would ever hear in his life! Startled, Joe sprinted fast towards the net, Burke backing and more quickly than he liked, Joe snapped off the shot. He closed his eyes when he heard the Ping! Those damned goal posts. He opened one eye when he didn’t hear the cheers of the crowd. They were hushed and some were booing. And then he felt the arms of his teammates squeezing him and barking congrats. This game was tied!
Joe didn’t want to hear it though. He pushed away the mass of guys and grabbed Patty in a vise-grip on his arm. "What the hell is this about Mike Modano?" Joe snapped.
Patty didn’t bat an eye, which was odd for Patty. "You know Claude," Patty muttered. "He just wanted to freak you out."
Joe nodded. That made more sense and he calmed down. "Alright boys," he barked. "Let’s win this in OT!"
Joe smiled, if this didn’t give them momentum then he would shoot himself! He looked over at Tanguay who was pale as a ghost. In fact most of the guys looked spooked. Most of them were looking at Claude and Patty. Joe shook his head. He gave up, they would leave tonight with a point, he ceased to care why they were being so shitty.
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