Chapter 37: Jennifer--He Had Called Her Beautiful

Chapter 37: Jennifer—He Had Called Her Beautiful

The pain in Jennifer’s breast, the one that she usually went to bed with, was not so acute when she woke up. There was still a gnawing ache, but it wasn’t sharp. Jennifer hugged her pillow and looked absently at the sunrise poking through the curtains. Adam was snoring loudly next to her. It was a necessity for a hockey wife, to withstand a husband’s brutal snoring.

Jennifer rolled over and looked at Adam. She wasn’t hurting this morning because they hadn’t gone to bed angry. They had actually gone to sleep in the same bed, albeit not at the same time.

There were bruises all in various stages of coloration across Adam’s chest. Blocked shots, collisions, cross checks, all of it was written across his chest. Evidence of hate and violence it was. Why couldn’t evidence of love be there?

It was the middle of October. All summer, Jennifer had been patient. And now it was October. Adam would hug her and kiss her. He would say, "I love you" but he couldn’t make love to her. Or he wouldn’t.

Jennifer had lost ten pounds in the last month. Something had told her that perhaps she had become unattractive to Adam. So she had concentrated on losing weight. No response from Adam.

It couldn’t be her looks that were the problem. That much was made clear to Jennifer the night his friend Patrick made a pass at her. For Mimi’s sake, Jennifer wanted to believe that Patrick had been intoxicated, but she had smelled no alcohol on him. "I’m sorry," Patrick had said, "but you’re so beautiful."

So she was attractive. Patrick had seen it, why couldn’t Adam? What had she lost for Adam that was perfectly fine in Patrick’s eyes?

Patrick had initiated everything that she had been dying for Adam to do. The feel of his hand sliding up her body and his mouth on hers, it was still an acute one. Jennifer had stopped him, only because she knew that more harm would come of it. And the harm was done. After getting a taste of sex, not just love making, but of sex, Jennifer was dying more than ever for Adam’s touch.

They had gone to bed without fighting last night. Was that all they needed?

Jennifer almost decided against it, but she had to try. Adam’s snoring stopped as soon as she kissed him, and she almost cried with joy when his hard, strong arms wrapped around her. His kiss became open and deep.

Oh please! Jennifer thought. Please!

Without breaking the kiss, Jennifer slid on top of Adam’s body, squeezing his waist a bit between her thighs. Looking straight into his eyes, she pulled her face back.

"Adam?" she said.

"I love you," he whispered.

He said the words, but Jennifer could feel no response from his body. There wasn’t even any heat. He had returned her kiss but there was nothing else.

Jennifer sighed as Adam blushed and looked away.

"I’m sorry," Adam said.

Jennifer rolled off him and onto her side, her back to him. How sorry are you? Jennifer thought. Really?

Tears welled up in her eyes when Adam pressed her body against her, draping his arm over her. When he kissed her neck, she flinched.

"Is there another woman?" she asked. "Is that it?"

Adam was quiet and he leaned his forehead against the back of her neck. "No," he said clearly, "It isn’t that. I don’t know what it is."

Adam’s hand was clasped over hers and she could see that his thumbnail was half-blackened. Another war wound.

"Adam, I can’t do this much longer," Jennifer said. "Please, figure it out."

"What was it you needed to talk about, Jennifer, darling?" Michele Roy’s voice rang from within the depths of her immense walk in closet.

Jennifer was sitting on the edge of the Roy’s bed. She had come over, looking for any friendly face. Debbie had always seemed to trust Michele so much, so Jennifer had decided she would as well.

When she had come over to the house, it was in time to see Katrina, the team massage therapist, leaving. It reminded Jennifer to quickly make an appointment with her.

Michele had been all smiles to Jennifer, telling her to follow her up to the master bedroom while she changed from her bathrobe to her clothes. The bedroom smelled heavily of almond massage oil, it must have been where Michele had had her massage. It was a soothing smell. She inhaled deeply as she sat down on the bed while Michele disappeared into the closet.

"It’s hard to explain," Jennifer said as she looked at the blond wood of the head board. She wrinkled her brow. There was a large smear of blood on it. "It’s about Adam."

"What about Adam?" Michele asked as she exited the closet, fully dressed in a three quarter sleeve blouse.

"Um," Jennifer said. "Mimi, is everything all right?"

Michele laughed as she picked up a large, brown hair clip, rolling her hair and pinning it. "Yes," Michele said. "Why do you ask?"

"Well," Jennifer said and she pointed at the bloodstain.

Michele raised her pale eyebrows. "Oh. It’s nothing," she said as she pulled out a tissue and spat on it.

Jennifer fell back as Michele leaned over her and wiped at the stain. The closeness of her body and the sharpness of Michele’s perfume made Jennifer a bit dizzy. There was always something about Michele that threw her a bit of balance as it was.

"There," Michele said and she threw the rust colored tissue into the wastebasket. "Poor Patrick, it’s his blood."

Jennifer exhaled. "Patrick?" she asked feeling guilty for even saying his name. "Did he hit his head?"

Michele shook her head, fluttering her eyelids. "Non," she said. "I bit him."

"Bit him!" Jennifer exclaimed.

"Oui," said Michele. "Last night. I hadn’t meant to draw blood."

Jennifer quickly hopped off the bed as if it had burned her. She felt wrong for even touching it. "Oh," she said weakly.

There was an awkward silence as she stared at the carpet. Jennifer could feel Michele’s gaze and it was embarrassing her.

"Well," Michele said brightly. "Let’s go downstairs. I’ve made some lemonade. You can tell me what’s on your mind."

"Adam either can’t or won’t!" Jennifer said after sipping some lemonade. "Michele, what am I doing wrong?"

Michele sighed and put her hand over Jennifer’s. "Listen to me. You are doing nothing wrong. That’s the first thing you need to know and hear. It’s not your fault. These things just happen to men sometimes, and they need so much love and understanding to get through it."

Jennifer took a longer drink from her glass of lemonade. It was extremely sweet, she needed to get this recipe.

"Has Patrick ever...has it ever..." Jennifer began.

Michele nodded. "Yes."

"Really?" Jennifer gasped. "You’re not trying to make me feel better?"

"Playoffs," Michele said. "If he’s on a hot run and in a zone, he doesn’t want to be kissed much less touched. I’m not completely sure he remembers who I am during times like those."

"Oh," Jennifer said. "But that doesn’t really help. That’s by choice I suppose, I don’t think Adam is being superstitious about anything."

"In times like those, sometimes a man needs to be shaken up," Michele said.

"Shaken?" Jennifer asked.

"Oh yes," Michele said. "They get so far down into a..a..slump that they do not even try anymore. They take for granted that their woman will be there and that she will wait. Sometimes he needs to have that little push to make him appreciate his lady."

"How do I do that?" Jennifer asked.

"Oh," Michele said, with a slight turn to her lips and downcast eyes, "It’s all a matter of taste really. Some women kick him out to another bed, others keep provocative at all moments, flirting and showing just that little bit of skin to remind him, and others, well they make him jealous, and others still, well they find comfort elsewhere."

"You mean take another man?" Jennifer exclaimed. "Mimi that’s a bit extreme, isn’t it?"

Michele shrugged. "I haven’t told you to take a lover, Jen," she said. "But if months go by and another man seems to appreciate you...."

"Mimi!" Jennifer cried, she could feel herself flushing.

Michele laughed and brushed her hand over Jennifer’s cheek. "I’m only teasing!" she said. "You do as you see fit. Personally, I would just flirt a bit, tease a bit and on no occasion make him feel guilty. More pressure upon him if he sees you desperate and we both know how men are under pressure. Does any of this help?"

Jennifer slowly nodded. "Yes," she said vacantly.

If another man seems to appreciate you.......

That’s all that Jennifer could think of now, he had called her beautiful. But she could never hurt Mimi like that, never!

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