Chapter 171: Debbie V—What You’re Capable of
Joe acted like nothing at all had happened or was out of the ordinary after the game. Throughout the entire thing, she had felt a breathless
nervousness watching him, unable to believe still what he had done to her body in that office. She watched the entire team skating and felt herself blush not knowing if they had been aware what was happening. Had Joe told them? She would have no reason to think that he would have, but now… well things were different, weren’t they.
She was glad for Cecile. The girl was busied with the children, playing with them, clapping with them. Debbie knew that she was far too distracted to even begin paying attention to them.
She was also glad that Mimi wasn’t in the box, that she was down in that lower bowl, watching the game. Debbie wasn’t mad at Michele to be sure, she was merely… afraid. How did one look a best friend in the eye after doing what they just did? She had closed her eyes and decided to push it from her brain.
After the game was over, Mitchell went to Joe for hugs, so did the twins. Joe was such the Daddy, picking them up and swinging them around. He kissed her on the cheek, made no eye contact with her. Simply said, “Hi.”
That had sent a pang of worry through her breast. Did that mean that things were just going to revert back to their usual state? He always greeted her like that after a game. Why should he act any different?
Silence as they drove home, through the busy city streets to the openness of the highway to the open land where neighborhoods of sprawling skeletons, houses in construction were growing out of the grounds. All of it was dark and shadowed. There was the sound of the children sleeping and Joe soon was snoring in the passenger seat. All of that had been the same. All of that was “as usual”.
Had it all been a dream? Had her fantasies taken over her waking life to confuse her? Debbie was almost heart broken. Why should things be the same now? She knew now what Joe was capable of, the exciting pulsing creature he could be. Always she caught glimpses of it, always she was teased with it, but he had given it to her full force today. And now he should hide back into his domestic shell? It wasn’t fair.
Joe woke up as she put the car into the garage, the beginnings of a
freeze were seeding in the air, and she knew the car couldn’t stay outside. He
quietly took the children from their car seats and Debbie let
Joe put Mitchell to bed; she saw her husband’s face, eyes narrowed and sleepy. She put the children into bed, shushing Chase when he whined for Cecile. Sometimes, she didn’t like how attached the children seemed to be with the nanny. Never before had they seemed so hooked on one. She liked Cecile, the girl was useful, decent, and obedient but her mother’s heart also rang at her with a twinge of failure and jealousy.
“You’re tired,” Debbie whispered to herself, “That’s all.”
Of course the children love me more, I’m the mother.
Joe was brushing his teeth, Debbie joined him in the bathroom, glancing once at the counter where had lifted her before, pressed her down in a quick coupling. There was no repeat of that. He finished brushing his teeth before she did and mumbled something in a sleepy voice, whether to himself of to her she didn’t know.
Debbie sighed and finished with her toiletries and yawned as she slid into the bed. He was on his stomach, sleeping, his arms spread out on either side of his body. Debbie ran her fingers over his arm, feeling the soft hair on it, pulling at it. He moaned and then she heard his voice, “Not sleepy?” he asked.
Debbie kissed his arm. “No.” she whispered.
He yawned and leaned on one arm, looking at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Debbie said. Why was he being so nice? Why was he so calm? Wasn’t he angry at her for getting her way? Was he disappointed in her? Was he at least curious? She wanted to scream.
There was a long silence before he asked her. “What did she taste like?”
Debbie looked at him in shock. What was that? So he was curious? How exciting! What did she taste like? Somehow that question bothered her, why would he want to know that? She thought of Mimi’s grin and she hated the woman, honestly hated her.
“What do you mean?” Debbie asked unable to hide the edge in her voice. “Have you been wondering about her?”
Joe grabbed her hand in his. “Not about her. No. I just want to know what it was like for you, did you enjoy it? Did it give you something I couldn’t?”
Debbie looked at the dark ceiling and then she kissed him on the cheek. “Joe,” she whispered. “What you can give me and haven’t been, you gave to me. What bothers me is that it took a public fight in your locker room and the coach’s office for you to even consider it.”
She felt his hand on her cheek, slide over it and to the back of her neck, she leaned in for a kiss. It was a tender, lingering kiss before he pulled away and said, “I know I don’t do the things you would like me to. I’m so sorry for that, what you must go through. It’s just hard when… when you’re so perfect to me, so right, that sometimes I’m afraid that I’m going to hurt you or ruin you if I let myself go.”
Debbie kissed him. “Let yourself go,” she said to him. “Please. Don’t let me disappear forgotten like some dusty piece of furniture. I’m your wife and I love you. I want you so badly, don’t be afraid of me.”
“Did I hurt you?” he asked.
Debbie smiled. “Only in a good way,” she whispered. “And you left me breathless.”
He pulled her into an embrace at that point. She could feel her pulse race with anticipation and desire. She felt his hands brush over the sort part of her limbs and she bit her lips as he found her, as quickly and as intensely as he had done in the office.
In the morning he was awake before she was. He was freshly showered and sitting on her side of the bed, looking at her with a sheepish, almost embarrassed face. Debbie yawned and sat up, looking at him and blinking. “Morning,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was awful to you last night, did I hurt you too much?”
Debbie shook her head, unable to believe how gallant he was. “Joe,” she said. “Joe don’t worry.” She reached out to him and pulled him to her, feeling a delicious soreness on her body as his weight settled upon her. The emptiness in her stomach no longer was there. “I want to know what you’re capable of,” she whispered.
Swift Current, Sasketchewan—1986
Five dates. Five real dates, she had been on with Joe since that afternoon in the school library. Her parents had been thrilled to see her with a Bronco, one of those nice boys as they put it. They had been to the movies, to the mall, skating at the public ice rink. She hadn’t met any of his teammates and she never heard him speak of them. She didn’t find that part too odd; it wasn’t as if she spoke to him of her friends.
What was bothering her was the fact that he hadn’t given her a real kiss. Nothing untoward had happened since the time he had pressed his lips to her wrist. They laughed together and talked, and held hands. There was no kissing though. She was beginning to feel like she was in a relationship with a family member.
“Debbie! Omigod Debbie are you alright?”
Debbie had taken the phone from her mother that was the greeting she had received when she had answered it. She recognized Jess’s voice. “Um, yeah,” Debbie said and she glanced at her mom with the “can I have privacy look”. Her mom raised her eyebrows and left the room.
“What’s wrong?” Debbie asked.
“What’s wrong?” Jess exclaimed with an edge of disbelief in her voice. “Debbie you gotta be kidding me! You have to know everything right? I mean you’re going out with one of them.”
One of them?
Debbie frowned. “One of them?”
“Debbie!” Jess squealed. “Don’t play dumb.”
“Jess,” Debbie replied. “Sorry but it seems like I am.”
Jess sighed loudly. “Susan Mayrie tried to kill herself last night.”
Debbie’s heart skipped. “What?” she asked.
“Yeah, I guess you didn’t know,” Jess said. “Her mom found her in the bathtub, she’d slit her wrists.”
“Why?” Debbie gasped. “Why would she do that?” Still, Debbie knew that the answer was in front of her. Black eyes and yellowed bruises. Silent days in the classroom, her boyfriends screaming at her and no once caring.
“Well, Jen told me that she heard this from Sheldon. But don’t tell anyone else cause I promised Jen I wouldn’t tell and she promised Sheldon,” Jess said.
Debbie frowned. Sheldon? He was one of Joe’s teammates, wasn’t he? “I promise,” Debbie said.
“OK,” Jess said taking a deep breath, “Sheldon said that early last week Susan actually broke up with you-know-who and he seemed to be OK with it, in fact he wasn’t. Sheldon said that the guy invited Susan over to the coach’s house cause he had something that he wanted to return to her.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Jess continued. “And then… and then he took her down into the basement and he and a bunch of his teammates took turns… you know…”
Debbie shook her head, feeling her pulse come crashing to a stop. “No I don’t know!”
“And Susan she just tried to kill herself,” Jess continued as if Debbie hadn’t said a thing, “and all I could think about is that you’re going out with one of them and they can do that to you too if you’re not… Oh God please tell me they’re not hurting you and you’re just not telling me!”
He wasn’t like that! Debbie’s brain screamed. Joe wasn’t like that, he would never. Not the boy with the eyes of a man, who was quiet like a man, who laughed like a man, who was mature and sweet and gentle. He would never be like that, not when he hadn’t even kissed her.
“You’re so quiet,” Joe said to her later that day as they sat in the back corner of a pizza parlor. Debbie had been watching him scrape the toppings off his pizza as gingerly as any girl would and she had begun to feel self conscious about eating her own toppings. “What’s on your mind?”
“Susan Mayrie tried to kill herself,” Debbie said, looking for any change in his face.
He didn’t blanch, his throat tightened and so did his lips. “I know,” he finally said. “I guess she couldn’t take being dumped by…”
“Joe Sakic you know that’s not true!” Debbie exclaimed.
She saw a flash of something there in his eyes and he looked away. Oh God was that an admission of guilt? She shook her head. “Joe what are you capable of?” she whispered.
“I wasn’t there,” Joe said. “I was with you.” And he reached out and clasped her hands in his own, and she felt his sincerity. “And whatever they do or say, Debbie remember this, I would never ever let them touch you or hurt you.”
Debbie felt her face crumple but there were no tears. “Joe,” she whispered.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked.
Debbie looked at him and shook her head. “No, not like this.”
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